Ah, everyone, let’s sit down, it’s time for the weekly Theater Club meeting … ah … uh … everyone, we have to talk about the Clannad movie today … could you quiet …

Hold on Nagisa, let me handle this …

Kotomi, stop trying to burn today’s script!
Akio, stop running around screaming manly phrases!
Ryou, stop blushing so much, the visible steam is making too much noise!
Tomoyo, turn down the beatdown on Youhei for a bit!

I’m sorry, was I being too distracting? It’s his fault that he’s screaming in pain so much.

Mei, stop trying to use your loli charm on anything that moves!
…Uh…Sanae…I think those screams of the damned I keep hearing are coming from your cooking.

NO ONE EVEN USED MY IMAGE IN THE LAST TEAM CLANNAD POST! *runs out crying*

I LOVE YOU THEATER! Wait, no…I WILL ALWAYS STAND UPON SANAE! Damn it … hold on, I’ll be right back.

And Tomoya … Tomoya, Tomoya, Tomoya … I’ve got to deal with you personally, you naughty boy.

Hey, that’s not tsun or dere, that’s just being dirty!

S-stupid Tomoya, it’s not like I was trying to come on to you or anything!

FUUKO’S DETECTING AN OBVIOUS LIE!

Whoa, that’s cool, I didn’t know Fuuko had a lie detector built in.

…yes, I got a speaking role!

HERE, HAVE ONE OF FUUKO’S 37 SENSES!

Uh, guys? On topic? Clannad movie? Review? …OK, Nagisa, you’re with me, we’re on our own now.

Hello. Nice to meet you. My name is Kotomi Ichinose, a senior in Class A. My hobby is warning people about spoilers (Huge spoilers, like spoiling After Story, i.e. the second season - I AM NOT KIDDING ABOUT THESE SPOILERS). I would be happy if you could continue to read this post.

Good. Let’s begin this review. Clannad the Movie is a condensation of a seventy-hour visual novel, which had previously been condensed into a twelve-hour anime, into a mere 90 minutes. It’s an ambitious task undertaken by Toei Animation, especially since they had taken a lot of heat for their questionable adaptations of Kanon (2002) and AIR (the Movie).

Still, what’s important is that they try their best! That’s what Mom and Dad always told me to do. Any dream can be accomplished with power and perseverance.

HEY! Does that mean that I might have a chance to -

No, you’re never going to get to bed me in your life, Sunohara, not even in Youhei After. That’s straight SEEN666 right there.

*yaoi fangirl squee*

I was talking about Kyou, not you.

…oh shit.

Anyway, as Toei’s Clannad movie is but an hour and a half long, a lot of … budget-saving maneuvers have had to be made. Consider it a streamlining of the plot. First off, Fuuko, Ryou, you don’t exist anymore.

FUUKO OFF, TOEI!

(Ryou was not available for comment.)

Sis! No! Without you, I only have … Tomoya … all … to myself. Hey, come to think of it…

Second, the only character we really focus on is Nagisa.

DAMN IT!

I mean, uh, s-stupid Toei! It’s not like I wanted to appear in more than one scene as more than a bit character … or anything. Actually…

S-stupid blogger! It’s not like I wanted to have more than one personality as something other than this tsundere stereotype or anything.

T-that’s a lot of pressure, being the only main female character and all. I’ll try my hardest to make everyone happy but wouldn’t it be better if everyone could play a part instead?

Don’t worry about it Nagisa, we’ll be there to support you. And besides, you don’t really appear after the first hour anyway.

Really? Why not?

You’re dead.

WHAT.

WHAT.

WHAT.

EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?

I win!

… don’t look at me like that!

Hold on Kyou … apparently then we take a break and switch scripts with the Kimi ga Nozomu Eien studio just down the street. Tomoya’s going to fill in Takayuki’s role, of course, and I’m going to take Mitsuki’s place. Nagisa, you’re Haruka, except instead of being in a coma, you’re still dead.

B-but but, I-I still get to astrally project myself and stuff, right?

Apparently not.

So does this mean I get to have snap-out-of-your-depressed-phase sex with you, Tomoyo?

Although it’s more intriguing than Youhei After … no.

WHAT’S UP WITH THIS THEN? Love of my life, dead; hot girl of my life, chaste; tsundere of my life, irreleva - oh crap dictionary -

YEAH! We’re not going to stand around and let them take our Nagisa away! This goes beyond impossible! We’re going to kick this plot to the curb! If there’s a sad story in our way, we’ll destroy it! If there’s no comedy, we’ll make it with our own hands! WHO THE HELL DOES KEY THINK WE ARE!?

Akio dear you made a Gu**en L**ann reference last time…

I’m happy, though. (Doubly so because apparently now I am the coherent character)

It’s very much what Key has been known to do after it tried to kill the entire cast of Air and Kanon twice over, and after you get over the shock the story is actually really sweet and touching, right down to the reunion between Tomoya and Ushio at the end.

Who’s Ushio?

Your daughter you bore with Tomoya, apparently.

WE HAD KIDS!?

…OK Tomoyo, you’re forgiven.

Wow, I wish I was there to see that happen …

I really wish I was there …

You wanted to be in the hospital room when the baby was born too?

… oh.

Anyway, to carry off what Kotomi was saying, once you get over the shock of Nagisa kicking it, and the fact that it was kind of bluntly done - ‘oh by the way Nagisa’s dead’ and all - Ryou, will you stop crying in exchange for actually being able to appear in this post?

BAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWoh ok.

Thanks. The ‘After Story’ part of Clannad the Movie, shock aside, really saved this film from complete and utter boredom. Maybe it’s because of the excellent (and much longer) KyoAni adaptation of the main arc, or the fact that the Nagisa arc wasn’t flavored with all the other characters, but the Toei adaptation of the Nagisa arc was quite poor, even for a movie cut of the original.

It’s true! I don’t think I’m half as submissive as I was in the movie … I’m a strong person! In the movie, I just came off as weird and kind of weak. Physically weak, maybe, but I try my hardest to be a strong, well-defined person, something that I don’t really think the movie showed.

I’m sorry, was that a bit harsh? I’m just a little angry the dango song wasn’t as well converted either. Dango, dango, dango, dango …

Additionally, I didn’t have enough time to develop my angsty personality, nor have my true character brought out by Nagisa.

“My own heart, UNLOCK!” and all?

I have no idea what you’re talking about, really, I don’t.

In this movie it was more of a snap judgment, really, from “this Nagisa girl is annoying” to “ZOMG NAGISA IS SO MOE OVER 9000 I MIGHT DIE and also I love her”, and I wasn’t one for it.

This movie also has a very bad habit of being like a grade schooler and not being able to keep still. There were always random triple pans, or action lines, or funny zoom-ins that made it look like the building was collapsing. Was someone trying to be artsy or something when making this film?

Oh come on, the chicks totally dig the artsy type of animation they don’t understand! Just look at Shinbo!

A girl with a broken memory, a girl who won’t stop leaving you messages on your phone, and an entire classroom full of messed-up stereotypes. See, I’ll take my harem anyday.

Can we stop referencing other anime now? The art direction sucks, and I’m the main girl in Tomoya’s harem, we get it. Anything else to say about this show? Ryou?

W-well, it d-did include a lot of s-scenes that s-somehow w-weren’t in the Clannad a-anime. The e-early section wasn’t a-all repeat, you c-could say.

I feed you a line and that’s the best you can stammer? C’mon, learn from the best:

S-stupid movie, it’s not like you had to include scenes that weren’t -

Thank you, Kyou.

See, she’s totally jealous that I got the eroge sequel and she didn’t.

Wait, damnit. Then what was that scene about getting locked in the gym storage room about?!

That didn’t even show up in the movie …

…sadly.

Alright, with all the off-topicness we’re getting, I’m assuming that no one has anything else to say about the movie, correct?

FUUKO DOES!

Yes, Fuuko?

The movie lacked starfish.

And tsundere power.

And hot girl-on-girl action.

You know, we don’t need any of those to make a good movie -

Hey Tomoyo, want to show Youhei some ‘girl-on-girl action’?

Wait, I thought it was Tomoya that you lik-

I mean ‘do you want to beat the crap out of Youhei’, Tomoyo.

I’m almost dissapointed. Certainly, Kyou.

This can only end badly.

Alright, I’m going to leave them to their own ways. I’m the manifestation of the author again as a random glasses girl, here to summarize all the boring parts of this review.

1) There are no words to summarize the shock of ‘oh, and Nagisa died’.
2) Although there are plenty of words to write about how dull the pre-After Story section of the movie was, with little real conflict or character development.
3) After Story was warm and sweet, and helped develop the Tomoya side of the story a lot. Definitely the strongest part even with Nagisa randomly getting Key’d.
4) Take a drink every time you see a random triple pan, zoom in, or shot of scenery (two drinks if you can guess ahead of time whether it’s the sky, a train, or the river).
4b) Root beer, of course.

Overall, I wasn’t really impressed by the Clannad movie at first. Maybe that’s the fault of having an adaptation of greater length predating it - which would also explain why I enjoyed (and whined about) the After Story section a lot more. I’m worried that after seeing KyoAni’s After Story that the Toei movie will become next to worthless except to Nagisa fans or those who want a more straightforward, arc-less story.

But Clannad is really a work that needs time to be experienced, and so if you just watch the movie to get the whole picture, you’re missing out on a lot of great development, not just for Nagisa and Tomoya, but also for the other important characters. Not to mention, Ryou and Fuuko actually show up there.

As such it’s hard to reccomend the Clannad movie, mainly because either KyoAni’s adaptation will make it look boring, or it will ruin some of the suspense of KyoAni’s After Story adaptation. (Spoiler: Nagisa dies)

It’s not a painful watch on the most part, just not a noteworthy one. I’d say it’s time better spent watching three episodes of the anime proper - or maybe a better, more encapsulated movie. That’s all I’ve got to say.

Ah, that was a good time, wasn’t it, Tomoya?

True, I’d love to do it with you and Tomoyo more often.

It’s always more fun as a group.

True. Beating up Youhei together is almost therapeutic.

Tomoyo … you know what?

You’re no fun at all.

-CCY
(Ah, I wonder what team I should do next … these are too fun to write.

P.S. BAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW goddamnit Nagisa, Key, I hate you all. I love being simplistic and happy.)

This post is tagged Clannad, Series Review, Team Zetsubou Reviews