Ah, everyone, let’s sit down, it’s time for the weekly Theater Club meeting … ah … uh … everyone, we have to talk about the Clannad movie today … could you quiet …

Hold on Nagisa, let me handle this …

Kotomi, stop trying to burn today’s script!
Akio, stop running around screaming manly phrases!
Ryou, stop blushing so much, the visible steam is making too much noise!
Tomoyo, turn down the beatdown on Youhei for a bit!

I’m sorry, was I being too distracting? It’s his fault that he’s screaming in pain so much.

Mei, stop trying to use your loli charm on anything that moves!
…Uh…Sanae…I think those screams of the damned I keep hearing are coming from your cooking.

NO ONE EVEN USED MY IMAGE IN THE LAST TEAM CLANNAD POST! *runs out crying*

I LOVE YOU THEATER! Wait, no…I WILL ALWAYS STAND UPON SANAE! Damn it … hold on, I’ll be right back.

And Tomoya … Tomoya, Tomoya, Tomoya … I’ve got to deal with you personally, you naughty boy.

Hey, that’s not tsun or dere, that’s just being dirty!

S-stupid Tomoya, it’s not like I was trying to come on to you or anything!

FUUKO’S DETECTING AN OBVIOUS LIE!

Whoa, that’s cool, I didn’t know Fuuko had a lie detector built in.

…yes, I got a speaking role!

HERE, HAVE ONE OF FUUKO’S 37 SENSES!

Uh, guys? On topic? Clannad movie? Review? …OK, Nagisa, you’re with me, we’re on our own now.

Hello. Nice to meet you. My name is Kotomi Ichinose, a senior in Class A. My hobby is warning people about spoilers (Huge spoilers, like spoiling After Story, i.e. the second season - I AM NOT KIDDING ABOUT THESE SPOILERS). I would be happy if you could continue to read this post.
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All right everyone, great play we put on their for the Theater Club, now let’s wrap this up with a final reflection on how it all went. Nagisa, you’re the lead character, you start … uh … where’s Nagisa?

Tomoya and her went to go take the trash out by the gym storage locker a long time ago … I wonder if they’re OK?

WHY THOSE~ Uh, Ryou, where did I put my chainsaw?

W-w-weren’t you stripped of your license to use one after the incident with the last thousand fanboys?

Mmm, stripped…

Ah, fine, I’ve got better weapons anyway. I’ll be back in a minute.

(THIS NOT OUT-OF-PLACE INTERJECTION AT ALL INDICATES KYOU IS WHERE NAGISA AND TOMOYA SHOULD BE)

Hmm…the door’s locked. That’s it, then! *clears throat*

S-s-stupid door, it’s not like I wanted to open you or anything!

(Door breaks cleanly in two. Kyou gets duct tape and patches it up cleanly before continuing.)
Ah, Kyou!

ALRIGHT YOU LITTLE HUSSY PUT YOUR PANTS BACK wait what? What’s this?

Look, look! We found this dango farm in the gym storage room and we’ve been entranced with it ever since! Isn’t it just adorable? Dango, dango, dango, dango…

Alright you guys, can we get serious here? We have to do a peer review and we have to get going now. We’re months behind.

Tomoyo? What are you doing here too? (Alright, I get a speaking line!)

Well … I figured … if Tomoya was going to be here so long with Kyou and Nagisa … that I …

FUUKO’S HERE!

No, Fuuko! Go away! You’re killing my deredere Tomoyo fantasies!

(Actual review-like content after the jump … sadly. Also, watch out for spoilers.)
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“How can I praise you for something stupid like that?!? You pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate all the melonpan?”

In the end, Shakugan no Shana II was like an average NASCAR race. It sounds awesome, there’s a lot of action, fire, and people getting punted into walls, but then you realize you’ve been doing circles for a couple hours and you’re exactly where you started at the beginning.
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What to do when you want to say something about a show where there’s really nothing to be said about it?

Unlike KimiKiss, where I can rant on and on for forever about how Yuumi is going to win lose end up alone turn lesbian for the frog sisters beat the everlasting crap out of Kouichi for being an idiot do something over the last two episodes, and unlike H2O which is really soul-rocking in it’s suck to not-suck conversion, Shana II at this point is pretty straightforward, a show that’s entertaining but not inherently analyzable, kind of like a good action movie.

So what to do when there’s jokes about making babies to be said, complaints to be voiced about Konoe Hecate, and poetic to be waxed about Ike?

The answer: more new features.

Team Zetsubou, which may or may not become a regular feature depending on how lazy and/or utterly insane I am, is a fallback type of humorous episode review / analysis, where everyone’s favorite manic mental characters from the popular dark comedy Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei get wielded as humorous stereotypes to add some flavor and some funny to a post.

All I can really say is that reading it will make more sense than me trying to explain it, although, given the style of the show, it’s doubtful that either makes sense. Still, I hope you enjoy this lighter feature, and until then, enjoy the first trial of Team Zetsubou in reviewing Shakugan no Shana II 22.

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