(if you’re wondering how I wrote so many entries in the span of 5 minutes, I had a lot prewritten while I was looking for a blog host)

Too lazy to do a full recap of Kanon 2006 at the moment, but it’s incredible awesome-ness compels me to write a bit about it. Thus, follows “Kanon in a Nutshell”!

Spoilers ensue, but that’s true for all my posts.

Nayuki: I’m the first girl in the show! Love me Yuuichi!

Yuuichi: No.

Ayu: Uguu~

Yuuichi: I wasn’t even talking to you.

Ayu: Uguu~ Yuuichi hates me~

Yuuichi: Damnit…compelled by…power of negation…to think the opposite…

Ayu: GG. Uguu~

Nayuki: I’ll fight back! Fighto dayo~

Shiori: Heheh, I’m the underclassman! Time to win over Yuuichi with my frailness, cuteness, and rejection by the rest of society!

Yuuichi: You can form a coherent sentence. Above intelligence requirements, go away.

Shiori: I don’t like people that say that.

Yuuichi: I don’t like you either.

Shiori: That was a catch phrase! I’m supposed to be cuter now-

Yuuichi: Too long for a catch phrase.

Shiori: I’m terminally ill!

Yuuichi: I’d hit that!

And then she dies.

Yuuichi: Damn, that always happens.

Nayuki: I’m being ignored again…activate cute sleepwalking powers…zzz…

Makoto: Hey! Someone forgot to mention my arc! I’m a tsundere; I have no idea what it means but it’s in Japanese so it must be good!

Yuuichi: Hmm, not bad actually…

Makoto: Marry me Yuuichi!

Yuuichi: OK, but only because you’re weakening and devolving back into a fox. Wait, what?

Makoto: *jingle* Auuuu~

Ayu: Uguu~ Someone’s a copy cat!

Makoto: Auuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu~

And then she dies.

Nayuki: I’m important! I’m on the track team!

Sayuri: Ahaha~ Someone forgot the arc between Makoto’s and Shiori’s!

Mai: …

Yuuichi: Quiet girl. Impressive. Not quite Nagato’s level, though.

Sayuri: Ahaha~ Just because you’re Kyon’s VA too…

Mai: …

Yuuichi: Is that all you’re going to say?

Mai: I didn’t say anything.

Yuuichi: Gotcha!

Mai: *stabs self*

Sayuri: Ahaha~ That happened again~ Time for necrophilia~!

Nayuki: ASAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! ASA DA YO~~~

Yuuichi: Not yet, Nayuki. I can’t care about you yet, because you’re my cousin.

Akiko: K Nayuki, here’s the plan; I get run over and Yuuichi will pay more *splat*

Nayuki: Strawberry jam! Oshi, depressed. *tear*

Yuuichi: Aww, Nayuki, Yuuichi’s here to make you feel better.

Nayuki: No you’re not. *emo*

Yuuichi: Yeah, you’re right. I’ll go have some revelations about Ayu now.

Ayu: I’m actually dead! Uguu~

Yuuichi: My stupid crush from 7 years ago is dead! Sad me in snow.

And then he dies.

Wait, no he doesn’t.

Real Makoto: I’m a plothole!

Ayu: I’ve come back to taunt you, Yuuichi! Uguu~ I like you, but there are so many more bishies in heaven.

Yuuichi: Eff you, Ayu.

Ayu: Uguu~

And then she dies again.

FIN!

Wait, no it isn’t.

Shiori: I’m actually alive!

Mai: I’ve been alive for the last 10 episodes.

Makoto: I’m still ‘dead’. Auuuu~

Ayu: I’ve actually just been comatose for the last 7 years! Uguu~ Pay my hospital, Yuuichi.

Yuuichi: How the hell do I revive you though, if you’ve been comatose for the last 7 years?

Ayu: Uguu~ Well, sex worked pretty well in Tsukihime…

Yuuichi: Mmkay.

(the previous scene did not actually happen)

Ayu: I’m alive again! Uguu! And I have a haircut like Misuzu near the end of AIR because short hair signifies something!

GOOD END!

Nayuki: Nyuuu…at least I got to kiss Yuuichi in the Toei version.

In conclusion:
1) Nayuki > Mai > others
2) Kanon 2006 = win
3) Too much sugar was used in the creation of this entry.