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Minorin’s Miracle Mission, Final Part

canon — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 17:40:03 +0000

“It’s called a miracle because it has a chance of happening … right?” (image source: kabocha)

Wait, perhaps that is the wrong girl. For today. But that thought still stands. For this final stand.

Bounded Field “Boundary of Life and Death”

This is, beyond anything, Minori Kushieda standing at the precipice between success and failure in the International Saimoe League; for those who she has fallen before, and those who she has triumphed over, none matter more than the one standing before her.

“Don’t underestimate us! We don’t care about time or space or multi-dimensional whatevers. We don’t give a damn about that.”

Surely, it seems daunting.
Perhaps, it might be better to say that surely, it -seemed- daunting.

9 rounds ago, it was calculated that Minori needed to win 75% of her final 12 matches in order to clear the .500 bar that seemed so far away.

And now, with just three to go, it seems harder, in that she must be absolutely flawless in her final three in order to achieve a mere record of 32-31.

“Even messiahs need to perform miracles if they are to be acknowledged. Therefore, we have to produce our own miracle, don’t we?” (image source: takahara akiji)

But, it’s not impossible.

Minori’s final two opponents, whether I like them or not, have been performing rather poorly in ISML, so they should be fairly easy to clear.

Which means, that it really does just come down to this match.

“There is no such thing as a coincidence in this world. There is only the inevitable.”

I don’t know if a match between Minori and Sakura Kinomoto can be called something like ‘inevitable’ – maybe just the placing of this quote was inevitable – but it’s an inscrutable match in so many different ways, in that it’s nearly impossible to predict.

Of course, many fans will hold Sakura dear as the girl from their youths, whether in terms of physical youth or in terms of anime-fandom youth, and so asking them to vote for Minori is a tough choice.

Plus, Sakura and Minori are both girls of similar feather – while perhaps one may have a more complicated outlook than the other, on the exterior both of them are still very happy-go-lucky, confident, always-smiling girls that can’t help but warm your heart.

In the end, for me, it’s one that is influenced slightly by numbers, in that while Sakura and Minori, on the stage of ISML, are of equal caliber, Sakura is slightly above the .500 line, already with 32 wins, while Minori is slightly below, needing these 3 wins in these last 3 matches.

“But because the slave is in that despairing situation, having nothing … it can overthrow the emperor!” (image source: kyoku tou)

Maybe Sakura can’t be called an empress (even if a lot of us hold her to that esteem), nor Minori the slave, but definitely, Minori here, is the one who has had nothing all along, whether in the canon of Toradora or in the last 12 matches here, clawing for votes to stay afloat above the .500 line.

But, like in any gamble, it’s not hopeless.

That door of opportunity hasn’t shut yet for our genki girl. But it’s closing fast. She’s been trying to pry it open for the longest period of matches; accepting victory over Rena, attempting to overthrow Kagami, all the tough matches, the tough choices, all for that small chance of being able to achieve that milestone, that so many before her have fallen before.

Ami and Taiga are waiting on the bright side of .500. You won’t keep them waiting, will you?

One shot.
One goal.
One vote.

Will you help make it happen?

-CCY
(image source: mani)
(tip: click that last link to vote)

The 16th Day of Christmas 2008 – The Works on the works of 2008

canon — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 08:00:52 +0000

WARNING

ENCOUNTERED A POST
The Works on the works of 2008 – a little bit describing every anime I’ve touched
Part 15 in the 12 Moments in Anime Countdown

BE ATTITUDE FOR GAINS
1: TL;DR IN SMALL BITS
2: EVERY SERIES IN A SHORT PARAGRAPH
3: RADIANT SILVERGUN REFERENCES

NO REFUGE
Akagi
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Akane-iro ni Somaru Saka
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Aria the Animation
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Bokura ga Ita
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Chaos;Head
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Clannad (+ After Story)
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Code Geass
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Da Capo II
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ef ~a tale of memories~ (+ melodies)
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Final Approach
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Five Centimeters Per Second
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Golgo 13
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Gurren Lagann
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H2O ~Footprints in the Sand~
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Haibane Renmei
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Haruka’s Secret
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Higurashi no Naku Koro ni (+ Kai)
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Howl’s Moving Castle
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Itazura na Kiss
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Junjou Romantica
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Kaiji
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Kamen no Maid Guy
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Kannagi
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Kare Kano
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Kanokon
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Kimi no Nozomu Eien
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KimiKiss Pure Rouge
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Kodomo no Jikan
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Kure-nai
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Lamune
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Legendary Gambler Tetsuya
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Manabi Straight
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Marmalade Boy
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Midori Days
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Minami-ke (+ Okawari)
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Mission-E
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My Neighbor Totoro
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Nodame Cantabile (+Pari-hen)
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One Outs
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Penguin Musume Heart
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REC
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Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei (+ Zoku)
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School Rumble
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Shakugan no Shana II
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Shugo Chara!
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Special A
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The Girl Who Leapt Through Time
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The World God Only Knows
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To Aru Majitsu no Index
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To-Love-Ru
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Toradora!
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Toshokan Sensou
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true tears
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Welcome to the NHK!
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*takes giant gasp of air*

…mmm. Air. Wonder if I should rewatch that one.

-CCY

T-That’s Impossible: A Retrospect on Saimoe 2008, Round 3

canon — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 13:21:25 +0000

Analysis\ up when I get the chance, but since I’ll be away from the computer for a bit, I’ve got to push this post out the door:

G3-2 Results:
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H3-1 Results:
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Round 3 Summary:
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More Stats from the Frontline:
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Round 4 Match-ups:
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Round 4 Storylines:
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-CCY

The Mission-E Mission, aka ‘How do I mine for subs’: A call to arms

canon — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 22:35:57 +0000

Hey, anyone else remember that one show from last summer, Code-E? Remember how good of a warm, slice-of-life show it was with a dash of romance on the side? How you cried for more after that ending that was just asking for continuation?

Well, no you didn’t, because nobody watched it. But it doesn’t matter because apparently people in Japan are awesome and actually did enjoy Code-E – or maybe some higher-up is flexing his muscle right now to get a sequel to a show two people in the world enjoy – because Code-E has a sequel.

It’s called Mission-E, and if you’re particularly adept right now in either detecting either sarcasm or reading the summer previews from a few weeks ago, you’ll notice that it’s been running for about a month now. And as you may glean from the title and the tone of this message, there’s been a distinct lack of, well, presence for Mission-E.

It was the same for Code-E, which was under-the-radar fun, but at least that show was completed by Subbers Anonymous, a group which has apparently dissolved before it could take on Mission-E.

And unfortunately for us that leaves us with one group on the roster to sub Mission-E, Hoshi no Yume, and while I won’t attack them for being a group I’ve never heard of before, I must admit to being annoyed at how they’ve been swept away by the sands of the internet. As in, uh, they haven’t done anything so far. Not cool.

So, like most disgruntled, desperate people, I came up with a plan straight from a sitcom or B-grade movie: if no one else wants to do it, take matters into your own hands.

In blunt words:

Let’s start up a group to sub Mission-E.

I say “let’s” because as much as I can attempt to fansub something, I’m lacking in one aspect: speaking Japanese. As such, I can’t do much for translating outside of dubbing the whole show in ad-libbed lines…which, y’know, is bad. (Unless it’s so bad that someone else decides to right the matter and take the project myself, but I digress.)

I can learn Aegisub. I can grammar / spell check. I can quality check. Whatever else that doesn’t involve direct contact with Japanese, should be fine. Whether I could handle all that on my own, I don’t know; but I’ll try if I have to, at least for one episode. All I need – at least – is a translator, although I won’t turn down anybody with enthusiasm, experience, or both.

To be entirely fair I’m not 100% sure on how this process works or how to run a group, but every process has to start somewhere, and I’ve got Fansubbing for Dummies in my left hand. Consider this an interest check filled with fanboy fire.

So, here’s a way to pump you up on Mission-E:
Did you like Code-E? Mission-E is a continuation of the series.
Did you hate Code-E? Mission-E is a pretty drastic change from Code-E, with more action and … uh … bodysuits.
Do you not care about Code-E? Do it because you’re gay / hetero for me.

(There, I’ve officially jumped the shark.)

And, if all else fails, look at the ending!

It has old-school style, an incredible pan shot at the end, and dancing. C’mon. Like three or four groups are subbing Haruka’s Secret and it has to be because of the dancing.

Convinced? Leave a message here and let’s see if we can get something going.

-CCY

(And for the record, Haruka’s Secret is quickly shaping up to be Guilty Pleasure material, so don’t think I harbor any particular dislike for it.)

Well, I got lazy: A Zero-Punc-style script for a Kure-nai review

canon — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 22:56:14 +0000

There’s one of my groundbreaking review ideas out of the bag. Well, not groundbreaking since it’s a rip-off of one of the larger video-game-culture phenomenons of late of Zero Punctuation, everyone’s favorite fast-talking fast-insulting Australian guy who rambles on about video games while ironic images appear in the background.

I figured I’d do my best to bring such a wonderful thing to the otakusphere by banging out my own ~~ripoff~~ ~~parody~~ homage to this style of reviewing, and my first topic would be Kure-nai, simply because if I did something silly like this no one would notice that everyone beat me to discussing this show, even Baka-Raptor and otousan and apparently another one by Karura showed up on the aggregator today.

(Yeah, I’m half-linkwhoring, half apologizing for not commenting on the other reviews because I was expecting to talk about it in mine. Additionally, becuase I was listening at the ABC channel last night about how there’s not enough interblog chatter. Thus, link-whoring.)

Of course somewhere between here and there the motivation ran out and the review admittedly ran horribly, horribly long and so I decided to scrap this script as a Zero-Punc script and just post it up as an actual review.

This is mainly because, aside from the fact it took me 7 minutes to read, I didn’t believe that it really captured the feel of Zero Punctuation. I managed to write a bit snappier and cracked a few more jokes than usual but it wasn’t laden with hilariously graphic metaphors and, as usual from me, was a bit too serious.

So you can judge for yourself whether it would have worked or not; although it might be a bit tricky because there’s no ironic stick-figure images that contrast the text to make the writing a bit more amusing.

Oh, and don’t forget, there is a review of Kure-nai in there somewhere too.

I was always taught in English class to begin with a shocking statement, and so, here it goes: If you watch anime, you are probably a lolicon.

OK, OK, before you break out your pitchforks and torches (or nod disturbingly in agreement), let me tell you: that’s not a bad thing. Not everyone who is attracted to little kids is going to grow up and be a church pastor or Michael Jackson, and really, the sense of the word ‘lolicon’ I’m using is simple.

Not every ‘attraction’ has to be one of sexual desire; quite often it’s closer to real life where people like to rub the heads of little kids and scream in obnoxious voices “You’re so kyuuuuuute!” where one is simply very, very moe-moe towards anime kids.

Now granted, if you start liking the little ones more than the big ones (DFC notwithstanding) or if you’re starting to get off to your favorite magical girl anime, then that’s a different topic I won’t be discussing.

But for the rest of us we’re brought to a show called Kure-nai. It’s a show that features a 7-year-old naked in a public bath, and really, that’s all you need to know to pass judgment on it.

*cue music*

Oh for the love of – the problem with shows prominently featuring little kids is that they’re frequently tossed into the ‘lolipedo bin’ without a second thought; perhaps this because many of these shows do actually contain a unhealthy level of fanservice limited only by the Japanese censors and giant rolling ‘no’s. Kure-nai is a bit smarter in that it shies away from physical porn and gives you some mental porn instead.

After all, part of the reason people like little kids aside from awkward complexes is that they do, after all, say the darndest things and so we come upon a sort of intellectual fanservice present here in Kure-nai and many other shows, where Murasaki says a lot of things that are half inappropriate, half out-of-context, and fully hilarious. It fully fits our image of the naive little kid and that’s what makes her so likable.

Continuing on this, the other thing about Murasaki is that despite the fact that she’s seven years old, when she’s talking about adult things is the only time she really acts it, something that will make or break Kure-nai for you. Quite frequently she spouts the most mature lines and speaks the most truth of anyone in the show, mixing that childhood naivete with the intelligence of a grown woman, something that will again leave viewers dazzled and probably hating the real world where all kids do is babble about nonsense and Barney.

Murasaki really makes Kure-nai a treat to watch for everyone, because her truths about love and the world will make analytical types froth at the mouth, and when she’s not talking about that she’s busy innocently talking about something inappropriate, which makes dirty types froth at the crotch.

Still, this brings me to the first problem in Kure-nai – and do remember, as a knock-off of fast-talking review series the world round I am contractually obligated to tear anything vaguely popular to shreds – in that it’s horrible at keeping a sense of believability.

Murasaki is the first to stretch the bounds when she begins spouting really strange stuff for a child to be knowing. It can be explained, for sure – she had an intelligent upbringing in the Kuhouin family, or perhaps this is that whole ‘hyperrealism’ thing where anime represents the real world being tweaked to perfection in a test tube in some mad scientist’s lab – but sometimes you just get the feeling that perhaps the animators forgot what age she was, or better yet, didn’t care.

There’s probably a life lesson in here somewhere about how everybody could learn something from someone else and that we shouldn’t discriminate against people based on age or anything, and I would admittedly forgive and probably worship Kure-nai if the main problem was just that, but unfortunately there are other holes big enough to drive a orange Jaguar (and later a grey Mercedes) through.

Kure-nai is the rough equivalent of a tsundere in show form. It can’t decide if it wants to be a gentle, sweet slice-of-life, or a dramatic, conflict-filled action anime.

Now the thing that makes everyone the world round melt down at people like Kagami, Akiha, or Kyou is that they, like M&M’s, are hard on the outside and soft on the inside. You get that feeling of having to work for your reward wearing down their defenses, and being able to see a side of a person no one else would.

Unfortunately, Kure-nai is a show and not a person, and so it cannot blush or lock itself in a gym storage room, and only beats up their viewers’ minds instead of their bodies. We have a term for this and it’s called multiple personality disorder.

Maybe I’m just selfish and liked the Murasaki end of Kure-nai too much but every time we suddenly find Yayoi or Benika shrugging off mortal injury and laying the smackdown on a random goon, all I can do is groan. It’d be almost passable except the fighting is even more ridiculous and dumb than asking Murasaki for sex advice.

It’s not really dramatic at all; the good guys are ludicrously broken, with no sense of bodily injury, we know how it’s going to end anyway, and I keep laughing how no one brings guns to a knifefight.

Perhaps my true problem with Kure-nai is that it is the epitome of wasted potential. It is the classic example of the little train that couldn’t: with only 12 episodes it tried to do a little bit of everything instead of focusing on any specific goal. This is a great recipe for a good show, but not a good recipe for a great one.

Murasaki is the only polished point in the show, and even then I’ve given her a paragraph of hate already.

The Kuhouins as enemies are poorly characterized: all of them are insane with little to no motivation and so they just come off as raw evil, which damages the otherwise great way the show doesn’t jump to conclusions about people.

The romantic subcurrents with Shinkurou, glasses girl, and that one other woman, really never amount to anything more than some awkward tension. Episode 7 did a great number on love and I hoped there was more but in the end the only confession we got was from a seven-year-old, and otherwise the romance didn’t even amount to enough to claim, “Oh, it’s subtle”.

The side characters were all over the map. Shinkurou’s flatmates had a good time in the spotlight especially during their musical number, but Yayoi looked to have a bit of a story as well about always being lonely and untrusted, except that never happened, and I already whined about my lack of schoolmate love-love and about the dark black souls of the generic Kuhouins.

The ending drew a lot of flak from viewers for -

WARNING! ENCOUNTERED A SPOILER. NO REFUGE, shmup reference, etc. run away now if you didn’t watch the show yet.

- just handing Murasaki back to the Kuhouin family she began with, but I thought it was done well. It wasn’t dead obvious like the idealistic choice of Shinkurou sweeping Murasaki off her feet, and it was still quite feel-good as well. You got the feeling that the two Kuhouins that weren’t pure evil could change the family, that although Murasaki was going back into the lion’s den, it was for a good reason and the right thing to do. Because nothing can replace true family, not even a guy with a bone sticking out of his arm.

So that’s two good points for the show: Murasaki and the ending; everything else runs the gamut from decent to incredibly, incredibly stupid, but in the end it all averages out to a solid show. Of course, the problem is that in a season with other good picks in the feel-good and analytical department, I found Kure-nai just doesn’t stick around long enough to make a lasting impression.

I’d recommend it to others nevertheless, but overall it’s like a good meal or perhaps a cheap fling: while you’re eating it, it tastes good, but you’re not going to remember it down the line as much more than a short, abstract memory, unless perhaps you do actually like watching 7-year-olds naked in a public bath, then you’ll have that scene engraved in your head forever instead.

Kukuku, full circle.

-CCY

(I’ll get anime-style ZeroPunc off the ground eventually… once I find something that really makes me rage XD)