Ah, everyone, let’s sit down, it’s time for the weekly Theater Club meeting … ah … uh … everyone, we have to talk about the Clannad movie today … could you quiet …

Hold on Nagisa, let me handle this …

Kotomi, stop trying to burn today’s script!
Akio, stop running around screaming manly phrases!
Ryou, stop blushing so much, the visible steam is making too much noise!
Tomoyo, turn down the beatdown on Youhei for a bit!

I’m sorry, was I being too distracting? It’s his fault that he’s screaming in pain so much.

Mei, stop trying to use your loli charm on anything that moves!
…Uh…Sanae…I think those screams of the damned I keep hearing are coming from your cooking.

NO ONE EVEN USED MY IMAGE IN THE LAST TEAM CLANNAD POST! *runs out crying*

I LOVE YOU THEATER! Wait, no…I WILL ALWAYS STAND UPON SANAE! Damn it … hold on, I’ll be right back.

And Tomoya … Tomoya, Tomoya, Tomoya … I’ve got to deal with you personally, you naughty boy.

Hey, that’s not tsun or dere, that’s just being dirty!

S-stupid Tomoya, it’s not like I was trying to come on to you or anything!

FUUKO’S DETECTING AN OBVIOUS LIE!

Whoa, that’s cool, I didn’t know Fuuko had a lie detector built in.

…yes, I got a speaking role!

HERE, HAVE ONE OF FUUKO’S 37 SENSES!

Uh, guys? On topic? Clannad movie? Review? …OK, Nagisa, you’re with me, we’re on our own now.

Hello. Nice to meet you. My name is Kotomi Ichinose, a senior in Class A. My hobby is warning people about spoilers (Huge spoilers, like spoiling After Story, i.e. the second season – I AM NOT KIDDING ABOUT THESE SPOILERS). I would be happy if you could continue to read this post.

Good. Let’s begin this review. Clannad the Movie is a condensation of a seventy-hour visual novel, which had previously been condensed into a twelve-hour anime, into a mere 90 minutes. It’s an ambitious task undertaken by Toei Animation, especially since they had taken a lot of heat for their questionable adaptations of Kanon (2002) and AIR (the Movie).

Still, what’s important is that they try their best! That’s what Mom and Dad always told me to do. Any dream can be accomplished with power and perseverance.

HEY! Does that mean that I might have a chance to -

No, you’re never going to get to bed me in your life, Sunohara, not even in Youhei After. That’s straight SEEN666 right there.

*yaoi fangirl squee*

I was talking about Kyou, not you.

…oh shit.

Anyway, as Toei’s Clannad movie is but an hour and a half long, a lot of … budget-saving maneuvers have had to be made. Consider it a streamlining of the plot. First off, Fuuko, Ryou, you don’t exist anymore.

FUUKO OFF, TOEI!

(Ryou was not available for comment.)

Sis! No! Without you, I only have … Tomoya … all … to myself. Hey, come to think of it…

Second, the only character we really focus on is Nagisa.

DAMN IT!

I mean, uh, s-stupid Toei! It’s not like I wanted to appear in more than one scene as more than a bit character … or anything. Actually…

S-stupid blogger! It’s not like I wanted to have more than one personality as something other than this tsundere stereotype or anything.

T-that’s a lot of pressure, being the only main female character and all. I’ll try my hardest to make everyone happy but wouldn’t it be better if everyone could play a part instead?

Don’t worry about it Nagisa, we’ll be there to support you. And besides, you don’t really appear after the first hour anyway.

Really? Why not?

You’re dead.

WHAT.

WHAT.

WHAT.

EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?

I win!

… don’t look at me like that!

Hold on Kyou … apparently then we take a break and switch scripts with the Kimi ga Nozomu Eien studio just down the street. Tomoya’s going to fill in Takayuki’s role, of course, and I’m going to take Mitsuki’s place. Nagisa, you’re Haruka, except instead of being in a coma, you’re still dead.

B-but but, I-I still get to astrally project myself and stuff, right?

Apparently not.

So does this mean I get to have snap-out-of-your-depressed-phase sex with you, Tomoyo?

Although it’s more intriguing than Youhei After … no.

WHAT’S UP WITH THIS THEN? Love of my life, dead; hot girl of my life, chaste; tsundere of my life, irreleva – oh crap dictionary -

YEAH! We’re not going to stand around and let them take our Nagisa away! This goes beyond impossible! We’re going to kick this plot to the curb! If there’s a sad story in our way, we’ll destroy it! If there’s no comedy, we’ll make it with our own hands! WHO THE HELL DOES KEY THINK WE ARE!?

Akio dear you made a Gu**en L**ann reference last time…

I’m happy, though. (Doubly so because apparently now I am the coherent character)

It’s very much what Key has been known to do after it tried to kill the entire cast of Air and Kanon twice over, and after you get over the shock the story is actually really sweet and touching, right down to the reunion between Tomoya and Ushio at the end.

Who’s Ushio?

Your daughter you bore with Tomoya, apparently.

WE HAD KIDS!?

…OK Tomoyo, you’re forgiven.

Wow, I wish I was there to see that happen …

I really wish I was there …

You wanted to be in the hospital room when the baby was born too?

… oh.

Anyway, to carry off what Kotomi was saying, once you get over the shock of Nagisa kicking it, and the fact that it was kind of bluntly done – ‘oh by the way Nagisa’s dead’ and all – Ryou, will you stop crying in exchange for actually being able to appear in this post?

BAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWoh ok.

Thanks. The ‘After Story’ part of Clannad the Movie, shock aside, really saved this film from complete and utter boredom. Maybe it’s because of the excellent (and much longer) KyoAni adaptation of the main arc, or the fact that the Nagisa arc wasn’t flavored with all the other characters, but the Toei adaptation of the Nagisa arc was quite poor, even for a movie cut of the original.

It’s true! I don’t think I’m half as submissive as I was in the movie … I’m a strong person! In the movie, I just came off as weird and kind of weak. Physically weak, maybe, but I try my hardest to be a strong, well-defined person, something that I don’t really think the movie showed.

I’m sorry, was that a bit harsh? I’m just a little angry the dango song wasn’t as well converted either. Dango, dango, dango, dango …

Additionally, I didn’t have enough time to develop my angsty personality, nor have my true character brought out by Nagisa.

“My own heart, UNLOCK!” and all?

I have no idea what you’re talking about, really, I don’t.

In this movie it was more of a snap judgment, really, from “this Nagisa girl is annoying” to “ZOMG NAGISA IS SO MOE OVER 9000 I MIGHT DIE and also I love her”, and I wasn’t one for it.

This movie also has a very bad habit of being like a grade schooler and not being able to keep still. There were always random triple pans, or action lines, or funny zoom-ins that made it look like the building was collapsing. Was someone trying to be artsy or something when making this film?

Oh come on, the chicks totally dig the artsy type of animation they don’t understand! Just look at Shinbo!

A girl with a broken memory, a girl who won’t stop leaving you messages on your phone, and an entire classroom full of messed-up stereotypes. See, I’ll take my harem anyday.

Can we stop referencing other anime now? The art direction sucks, and I’m the main girl in Tomoya’s harem, we get it. Anything else to say about this show? Ryou?

W-well, it d-did include a lot of s-scenes that s-somehow w-weren’t in the Clannad a-anime. The e-early section wasn’t a-all repeat, you c-could say.

I feed you a line and that’s the best you can stammer? C’mon, learn from the best:

S-stupid movie, it’s not like you had to include scenes that weren’t -

Thank you, Kyou.

See, she’s totally jealous that I got the eroge sequel and she didn’t.

Wait, damnit. Then what was that scene about getting locked in the gym storage room about?!

That didn’t even show up in the movie …

…sadly.

Alright, with all the off-topicness we’re getting, I’m assuming that no one has anything else to say about the movie, correct?

FUUKO DOES!

Yes, Fuuko?

The movie lacked starfish.

And tsundere power.

And hot girl-on-girl action.

You know, we don’t need any of those to make a good movie -

Hey Tomoyo, want to show Youhei some ‘girl-on-girl action’?

Wait, I thought it was Tomoya that you lik-

I mean ‘do you want to beat the crap out of Youhei’, Tomoyo.

I’m almost dissapointed. Certainly, Kyou.

This can only end badly.

Alright, I’m going to leave them to their own ways. I’m the manifestation of the author again as a random glasses girl, here to summarize all the boring parts of this review.

1) There are no words to summarize the shock of ‘oh, and Nagisa died’.
2) Although there are plenty of words to write about how dull the pre-After Story section of the movie was, with little real conflict or character development.
3) After Story was warm and sweet, and helped develop the Tomoya side of the story a lot. Definitely the strongest part even with Nagisa randomly getting Key’d.
4) Take a drink every time you see a random triple pan, zoom in, or shot of scenery (two drinks if you can guess ahead of time whether it’s the sky, a train, or the river).
4b) Root beer, of course.

Overall, I wasn’t really impressed by the Clannad movie at first. Maybe that’s the fault of having an adaptation of greater length predating it – which would also explain why I enjoyed (and whined about) the After Story section a lot more. I’m worried that after seeing KyoAni’s After Story that the Toei movie will become next to worthless except to Nagisa fans or those who want a more straightforward, arc-less story.

But Clannad is really a work that needs time to be experienced, and so if you just watch the movie to get the whole picture, you’re missing out on a lot of great development, not just for Nagisa and Tomoya, but also for the other important characters. Not to mention, Ryou and Fuuko actually show up there.

As such it’s hard to reccomend the Clannad movie, mainly because either KyoAni’s adaptation will make it look boring, or it will ruin some of the suspense of KyoAni’s After Story adaptation. (Spoiler: Nagisa dies)

It’s not a painful watch on the most part, just not a noteworthy one. I’d say it’s time better spent watching three episodes of the anime proper – or maybe a better, more encapsulated movie. That’s all I’ve got to say.

Ah, that was a good time, wasn’t it, Tomoya?

True, I’d love to do it with you and Tomoyo more often.

It’s always more fun as a group.

True. Beating up Youhei together is almost therapeutic.

Tomoyo … you know what?

You’re no fun at all.

-CCY
(Ah, I wonder what team I should do next … these are too fun to write.

P.S. BAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW goddamnit Nagisa, Key, I hate you all. I love being simplistic and happy.)

Tomoya and her went to go take the trash out by the gym storage locker a long time ago … I wonder if they’re OK?

WHY THOSE~ Uh, Ryou, where did I put my chainsaw?

W-w-weren’t you stripped of your license to use one after the incident with the last thousand fanboys?

Mmm, stripped…

Ah, fine, I’ve got better weapons anyway. I’ll be back in a minute.

(THIS NOT OUT-OF-PLACE INTERJECTION AT ALL INDICATES KYOU IS WHERE NAGISA AND TOMOYA SHOULD BE)

Hmm…the door’s locked. That’s it, then! *clears throat*

S-s-stupid door, it’s not like I wanted to open you or anything!

(Door breaks cleanly in two. Kyou gets duct tape and patches it up cleanly before continuing.)
Ah, Kyou!

ALRIGHT YOU LITTLE HUSSY PUT YOUR PANTS BACK wait what? What’s this?

Look, look! We found this dango farm in the gym storage room and we’ve been entranced with it ever since! Isn’t it just adorable? Dango, dango, dango, dango…

Alright you guys, can we get serious here? We have to do a peer review and we have to get going now. We’re months behind.

Tomoyo? What are you doing here too? (Alright, I get a speaking line!)

Well … I figured … if Tomoya was going to be here so long with Kyou and Nagisa … that I …

FUUKO’S HERE!

No, Fuuko! Go away! You’re killing my deredere Tomoyo fantasies!

(Actual review-like content after the jump … sadly. Also, watch out for spoilers.)

Alright, let’s get this review started. Does anyone here not know what Clannad is?

FUUKO DOESN’T!

Ugh … Fuuko … wait … who’s Fuuko? Anyway, Kotomi, tell everyone – Kotomi, stop trying to cut the definition out of the Wikipedia page! That’s plagiarism!

Ah. Clannad is another Key visual novel adapted by acclaimed studio Kyoto Animation, featuring cute – some might say pandering – character designs, sad stories, and a lot more comedy than any of the previous adaptations, like Kanon or AIR. Overall, it’s a mix of comedy and drama that most shows should struggle to match.

B-but, I don’t know if Clannad is good enough for the viewers … I mean, they wanted a real crying story so much, and to dissapoint them like this, it just doesn’t feel right … it’s j-just so sad, isn’t it?

HOLD IT!

Why are you throwing a dictionary at ME?!

I think you’re giving the viewers too much credit here. If they wanted something that was exactly the same as what they’ve seen before, they could go watch True Tears – not that it’s a bad anime, just a familiar one – or Kanon again for all I care. Key and KyoAni did the right thing by spinning a bit of a different formula into the equation, instead of just doing Kanon v.2.0.

FUUKO DID! My story was pretty much exactly what you would expect from a typical visual novel story. Here, have a recap! I’m a girl, in a coma, who projects herself into the real world to make someone she loves happy. Except, shock! A twist! That girl’s not the lead guy, but her older sister instead! It’s tearful and made Fuuko cry!

M-me too… it really was an example of these kinds of stories done right. Even if it did drag on a bit long, and was a bit typical, it was still really sweet, don’t you think?

Hello. Nice to meet you. My name is Kotomi Ichinose, a senior in Class A. My hobby is burning important papers. I would be happy if you could become my friend.

What the heck!?

Tomoya, you can’t say that. That’s my line. My arc is again a lot like what’s been done in other stories. I’m secretly a childhood friend of Tomoya’s and – what the heck!? I’m a childhood friend? Why didn’t I win?! WHY!?

Oh no! Kotomi’s using her ’super high-pitched Mamiko Noto scream’ attack! Quick, Kotomi, go to your happy place!

*Begins playing the violin. Glass shatters, birds begin to fall from the sky, Kyou stops acting tsuntsun, likewise horrors.*

SANAE I LOVE YOU! Wait … wrong target. Kotomi! Your violin is too good! It’s so good that it’s beginning to make us all jealous of your skills! So please stop! Before … we … get too jealous! Please! Stop!

Ah, I feel much better now. That’s right! I was talking about my arc. I’m a childhood friend type, that suddenly gets massively traumatized by my parents dying in a plane crash. It’s up to Tomoya to be a bad enough dude to save my former self. At least, that’s what these books say. These are strange books.

Kotomi’s arc wasn’t too bad either. I really think Kotomi is a good person after all, and she’s very cute and mature as well. Her story was a bit hard to believe at times, but there have been stranger things in this world, right, Tomoya?

Yeah, like that one girl … who was it?

FUUKO’S BEEN FORGOTTEN!

HEY! How come you talk about all these other girls but ignore Ryou, Tomoya! Have some sensitivity!

Well, it’s kind of like the anime itself. She, you, and Tomoyo didn’t get much plottime after all, being relegated to characters who were cute but didn’t get a lot of attention.

S-s-stupid Kyoto Animation, it’s not like I asked you to give me an arc or anything…

B-but … wasn’t it for the better? T-that other characters got the chance to express themselves? T-the fans adored us anything, perhaps m-more so because we weren’t one-hundred-percent fleshed out.

It is true. The Fujiyabashi sisters and myself are probably among the most popular characters of Clannad. However, I could describe this emotion regarding the lack of an arc as ‘longing.’ Perhaps it would have been better after all to cut short Fuuko’s story.

At least there’s After Story, right? Another season of Clannad, where everyone can get together and have more fun with everybody, and all…

B-but it’s not like we’ll have another chance to get Tomoya, or anything? I m-mean not get Tomoya l-like get him a C-Christmas gift or some g-giri chocoloate or whatever but g-get l-like, y’know, Nagisa, you’re not the only one with eyes on T-Tomoya, Ryou, Tomoyo, and I-I-I… AHHH MOUUUUUU I CAN’T STAND IT ANYMORE BAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

BAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

BAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

H-hey, d-don’t cry or else I’ll … BAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Guys, cut it out! I understand how you feel, it’s not like I wasn’t that way either, but I think it’s important to focus on more important…

BAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Alright … well … you made me.

*INSERT 512 HIT COMBO*

That was INCREDIBLY hot.

S-s-stupid Tomoyo, it’s not like I wanted to get screwed over by Kyoto Animation or anything! … uh … I mean … sorry about that.

Don’t worry about it. I only meant to get you to move along with the discussion here. I understand that it’s very sad that the Fujiyabashis and myself got little attention relative to Fuuko, Kotomi, and Nagisa, but I think it wasn’t a total loss after all. Our characters functioned well without having to have a massively sad story – or only a very slight one – behind them, which I thought was respectable.

That’s right Onee-chan. The two of us were really normal – if not perhaps a little exaggerated in personality – and yet managed to be really cute and enjoyable for the audience. Of course it would have been better if we had achieved a bit more in the spotlight, but there’s no polygamy here, so … there’s always the visual novel, right?

Well, I guess … hold on, let me compose myself.

WHY AM I GETTING A DICTIONARY THROWN AT ME AGAIN?

Just getting back to normal, Tomoya! Anyway, Nagisa, you better take good care of Tomoya, since we’re letting you have him!

EH!? I didn’t – I – ah – oh yeah. I guess we did get together at the end of the series after all.

Come to think of it, what took you so long anyway? It took almost until the end of the show for the two of you to begin going out. It’s obvious you two would make a good couple. I would have liked to see more of you two as a couple.

HEY! Do you want to shorten our arcs more or something?

Excuse me … I was just reading the instruction manual, and it looks like Kyou has a switch here …

Whoa, I want to try!

S-stupid Tomoya! It’s not like my tsundere demeanor is that easy to flip on and off or anything! *flip* But, I can understand why you would have a curiosity with such a thing … if it’s Tomoya, I guess it’s OK… *flip* HEY! What do you think you’re doing!? Don’t take a girl’s feelings so lightly … *flip* B-but, if you want to try it, I’ll let you do it … *flip* There’s nobody inside…

THERE WAS A YANDERE SETTING!?

Guys! Guys! Back to the script, can we? Thanks. We were … talking about Nagisa and Tomoya, were we not?

Y-y-you don’t have to do that! It’s really embarrassing! I mean … I’m happy and all, but …

I’m happy for you two also … it’s very rare that we get to see a pair of characters like this in anime, where both characters teach each other something. Nagisa seems like a weak character but is emotionally strong in the end, while Tomoya is a bit of the reverse. It’s not as easy as that, of course, but you really get a sense that this relationship was well built and well deserved. We couldn’t have had it any other way.

Y-yeah, I suppose, I’m happy … but… aren’t there more important things in the story than Tomoya and I?

What are you talking about, Nagisa!? The sweet dance of a couple in love is the most rewarding thing in the world! Love conquers all! Believe in the me that believes in you! Kick reason to the curb! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM! I LOVE YOU SANAE andyourbreaddoesn’tsuck!!

Akio is definitely right that Nagisa and Tomoya’s relationship is one of the most intriguing and one of the best aspects of Clannad, but unlike other Key shows there was another side to Clannad that made it special. And that’s the humor! Simply put, this time around Clannad induces almost as much laughs as it does tears.

B-but at the expense of main characters though … j-just look how Onee-chan and I h-have been reduced to joke characters in this post!

S-stupid blogger, it’s -

FUUKO’S BLOCKING AN OBVIOUS GAG!

But, to make myself sound coherent for once, Clannad has a wide range of humor that everyone should find something to enjoy in. There’s some romantic comedy, some physical comedy, some running gags, a few nerdy or fourth-wall-breaking parodies, even some raw moe moments which will leave even hard hearts smiling. It’s a better mix than other visual novel shows which tend to layer their drama and comedy like water and oil.

Personally, I was left a bit dissapointed with the show that it didn’t live up to the standards of Kanon and AIR from the past, in terms of raw emotional appeal. I prefer a show that can really leave a mark on the viewer, shake their soul and make them truly emotional, and in the best cases make them question life. Kanon did it. H2O did it (partially), ef did it. Byousoku 5cm did it.

Clannad felt like, to borrow a term, a paradigm shift, something that aimed at a completely different target. It seemed more lighthearted in nature overall, a story whose characters will be remembered as archetypes instead of people. Clannad leaves a sweet taste in your mouth, as at least it’s not just cotton candy like some shows; rather, the taste will linger for a short time after the show, but it won’t stick like the true greats in the visual novel / emotional genre have managed to make happen.

It’s more likely Clannad will be remembered for scenes like Kyou’s gym storage moe-packed mind-melter than the touching scenes between Nagisa and Tomoya. I think that’s a shame that Clannad isn’t as emotionally worthwhile as the rest of the things upon which Key has built their reputation; but from any other studio or developer, Clannad would be legendary. So there’s a case of high standards for you.

To summarize it, because you – yes, you – just skipped to the bottom and read this:
1) Fuuko = one of the most emotional arcs, and one of the most dragged-out characters.
2) Kotomi = really cute and her arc induced a little emotion, but it’s oh so typical.
3) Tsundere Kyou is tsundere.
4) Ryou was a personal favorite, but together with Kyou, neither got a lot of coverage.
4b) By the ’side character rule’ I demand more attention for the two, but I won’t complain about the focus we got on Nagisa.
5) Nagisa is an excellent character, covering emotional strength in a moe outer shell. Her family is much the same, but switching out the moe for a comedic gold flavor.
6) Tomoya, who I didn’t talk about at all, didn’t get as much exposition about his father as I thought. His character’s not too bad but I’ve always preferred the sarcastic type.
7) The allegory about the dream world was either played out too little or too much. Perhaps it’s more sublime in nature. It says how much I know about it by how much I talked about it (not at all)
OVERALL) Clannad is a great comedy show and a very good drama / sweet show, but it doesn’t match up to the same pretentious standard as Kanon and AIR. It’s a different kind of show that is extremely enjoyable to watch but won’t leave an intense lasting impact.

Uh, excuse me.

Yes?

Who are you?

A representation of the author through one of the random cute glasses girls (full-time, unlike you) of the show, so that I can say some important stuff in this post.

Kyou? Get your dictionaries. Kotomi? Grab your violin. Nagisa? Get some skewers from your dango-ka-bobs or something. Follow me.

*COMIC SOUND EFFECTS ENSUE*

Hehehe, the author must be a secret masochist!

And Mei, you can grab your brother by the ankles and get over here too…

Hehehe, time for some revenge for almost not getting my picture used!

*OH DEAR GOD THE HUGE MANATEES*

Ah, uh … everyone, thank you for coming. This concludes Clannad: The Series Review. We hope to see you again.

-CCY

(Funnily enough, this was one of the quicker posts I’ve written.)

In the end, Shakugan no Shana II was like an average NASCAR race. It sounds awesome, there’s a lot of action, fire, and people getting punted into walls, but then you realize you’ve been doing circles for a couple hours and you’re exactly where you started at the beginning.

One thing about Shana that always bugged me was that it quickly became apparent that half the scenes in the OP we would never get to see, and not ‘never get to see’ like real life fans sitting around going ‘I’m a wussy nice guy, now hurry up and jump me, ladies’, but like an in-story ‘I’ve got a big sword and I’m very afraid to use it…and Blutsager doesn’t get much action either.’

Actually, I don’t think we ever saw Three-Eyes (Bel Peol, I’ve heard her name is, although I really don’t know) in the story for more than ten seconds at a time, much less in a fight scene. Just as useless as Uchida and not half as cute … although, I’m incredibly curious about how glasses would work on her…

Hell, the villains needed a boatload (of the Nice variety, etc) of power of existence, plus some mad scientist machinery, plus an ancient artifact treasure thingy hidden inside a main character, plus Konoe, of all things, to change the laws of the universe? I know ordinary high school students who could do it for cheaper.

Wilhelmina better get to Shana quick, before she starts thinking that in order to make babies, you have to concoct some grand overarching scheme involving a giant mecha, the Reiji Maigo, and an irrelevant green-haired girl.

Well, that’s assuming that Wilhemina isn’t busy tapping Outlaw’s resources to do her own research on child creation. Satou’s first mission at Outlaw? I could totally write these doujinshi, now just to get to work on the Wilhelmina x Butter Toast one-off…

The fight scenes in the final episode were quite entertaining, if not wildly confusing and hard to take pictures of. Kind of like auto racing again – there’s stuff happening and things blowing up all over the place, and then all of a sudden Sydonay peels off of the course going “I wouldn’t hit that” to the clock tower and there’s flags (er, bandages) flapping all over the place.

It was also likened somewhere to Touhou. Certainly a lot of the last scenes in this anime felt like they could be translated well to a video game, or at least an action movie.

Maybe one of those war movies with lots of airplanes and dogfights, considering how much low altitude flying all the characters do in this show.

(Andohbytheway, who needs flying chickens when you have flying maids. I know where my vote lies. Flying maids? YES WE CAN!)

Then again, maybe one of those samurai flicks would work better. Hecate and Shana have got the clash-pose-clash-pose-clash-pose stance down pat.

Poor Wilhemina… ouch… ouch… and ouch some more.

(When you can’t think of a joke in your parody, make it funny by directly copying it.)

What genre is the slow-motion pass-by from? Let’s add in one of those two. Now all we need is some symmetrical docking, broken genderbent characters, and gym locker rooms, and we’ll have an epic movie on our hands.

I don’t care anymore. Just shoot me. No way there’s a Reiji Maigo in here. None. I won’t accept it.

(Alternatively, DARKNESS IN MY SOUL, etc.)

Now Kazumi, now is your choice!

Life … or death?

Possibility of Shana III … or certain series end?

Losing Yuji to Shana … or losing Yuji to Shana?

(At this point betting on Shana winning Yuji at the sportsbooks in Vegas returns approximately one penny for every billion dollars spent. Konoe probably has better odds than Yoshida … if the scoreboard had enough digits to approximate their odds any better than 9E99X10:1.)

For a second here I thought Yoshida had instantly gotten her power of existance sucked away and was turned into a Torch, and was unaware of it (i.e. sudden reality shift), but of course that would be too exciting. Instead it appears she just canceled the summon. Didn’t anyone ever tell her not to turn the power off while saving?

That’s right, Kazumi, you wait for Yuji to tell you he doesn’t like you.

Oh wait, in your silly little game with Shana, when deciding which girl to go to, he has to ignore the other one. Good job, Kazumi. Who needs to be an hero when you can get shut down by Yuji and run crying into Ike’s arms.

Actually, I kind of like that idea. Pity the Ike in Shana doesn’t know how to spam super armor with his up+B move though.

Oh, even better plan, Kazumi could enroll in the “Meido Power Training Camp”, run by Hisui and Yoriko, policed by Magical Amber and Wilhelmina, with lessons in spilling drinks all over your master, growing cat ears, and making plum sandwiches. Afraid she’s going to have to start at the bottom with Mako-meido-cakes and Genderswapped Mikuru, though.

!!!

Oh, that makes more sense. Now the one million dollar question is, how much protection does a Flame Haze with burning wings and a wicked sword need?

“Don’t worry Shana, I’ll save you from the plot! Just let me get into place and angst about myself, yourself, Kazumi, the sudden green-haired girl percieved as a rival to your affections, the falling value of the American dollar, and the fact that I’m being used in a horrible parody of some more famous anime blogger’s style!”

Of course, this wouldn’t work as the angst engine is fully powered by two-girl-drive, and they’d need a gar converter to swap in a Yuji turbocharger. Maybe last season.

“Counterattack, or hug Hecate tightly, counterattack, or hug Hecate tightly… ah, screw it, I’m going to be back for a third season anyway, might as well take the lolipedofin option while I can.”

One thing that really strikes me about the battles of Shana II, is that while they’re quite impressive looking with all the action and impossible-to-get-a-clear-screeenshot-ness, is that they’re always horribly lopsided. Sabrac has been the only real fight that wasn’t incredibly one-sided, and even then both sides only lived as long as they did thanks to cheap tricks, such as Wilhelmina’s bondage bandage gear, and Sabrac’s up-up-down-down-left-right-left-right-B-A-start code that gave him far too many lives.

Uh…on topic…that’s right. Bal Masque looked very much in this episode like they could have wiped the floor with Shana and crew, but since they weren’t bright enough to protect their own creation, it acted as an pathetically easy shield for the good guys. See, this is what happens when all you have is ranged attacks.

Not to mention, entrusting your ultimate creation and its defense to some mad scientist who can’t even speak straight, and his bumbling robot. Someone give this guy some taiyaki or something. He really feels like someone who would be more of an insignificant villain, given his comic value, yet he and his robots are essentially the last line of defense. It’s like sending Ralf Schumacher out to drive an F1 … wait …

Final eyecatch, Shana on a snowy night. If you’re wondering why there’s no snow, it’s because she melted it all…without even turning on Flame Haze mode.

Back to the action, Shana’s in. Now Shana II’s a spy movie. Melonpan hand grenades? Mikan boxes as cover? Someone call Hollywood.

Actually, it would never work, because the unwritten rule of Shana is that you have to yell really loud for your attack to be powerful. And you thought Yuuji was just trying to grate your eardrums all along.

Meanwhile, Shana herself has tossed the concept of the spy movie, and just decides to run … a lot.

Run… run… run, run, now Shana
Run… run… run like the wind now
Run… run… run, run, now Shana
Run…

Stop!

I can’t remember where the “I don’t want to dissappear from your heart” line came from – ef, possibly? Meanwhile, a couple dozen fans get their hopes up that maybe Yuuji will go and die to end the show, since Kazumi couldn’t. Then we’d get Kazumi x Shana yuri end, and everyone knows that is Best End.

Alternatively, Shana should have flown straight through Yuuji. There’s always time for comedy!

Back on track (hah), Shana tells Yuuji in very vague terms that bad stuff will happen if they don’t destroy Bal Masque’s weapon of mass destruction. See, we don’t even need details to move the plot along anymore. Way to fearmonger, Shana. You don’t have five years to be stuck in that robot, Yuuji will be toast way before then.

Meanwhile, Shana and Yuuji continue to move backwards in their relationship, as they don’t even try to fake attempting to confess anymore. It’s a sad sign when saving the world is more important than getting the girl in our action anime.

Meanwhile, the collective older-women fanbase holds their breath as everyone’s favorite Margery Daw continues bleeding half to death. I think this is a shrinking faction among the Melonpan Alliance, the Flat Chest Alliance, and the Tsundere Collective. Note that all three describe Shana.

Nevertheless Margery actually is a pretty witty and enjoyably blunt character, and so it’s really distressing watching her -

Wait, she’s all better. Damn right that healing might take a bit, Marcosias, what was that, five minutes of episode time? Reminds me of Murray Walker … “I don’t make mistakes. I make prophecies which immediately turn out to be wrong.”

My first expectation after seeing this shot of the giant suit of armor was that it was going to begin spitting random creatures out of its abdomen. But unfortunately, the Shana II anime does exist, Yuuji is armed with something heavier than a pocketknife, and there’s no “Isn’t it sad, Shana?”. There’s still awesome meido, though.

*cues Two-Winged Angel* Oh, and… I don’t care anymore. Just shoot me. No way those wings are going to generate enough thrust. None. I won’t accept it.

I’m sure this feeling that I’m running out of Jason-related gags is analogous to a race driver being told “You don’t have enough fuel to make it to the end,” except instead of pit stops, I refuel at image boards.

“We didn’t give up on our dreams! Our dreams became your dream! That’s what parents are! That’s what family is!”

Seriously, she looks like Akio, and I’m sure a lot of people are pulling for Wilhelmina to get a wife like Sanae. Making a comparison between Shana and Nagisa though… Nagisa would probably use that sword to make a giant dango shishkabob.

Meanwhile, Bal Masque’s final line of defense, the giant suit of armor piloted by Hecate, proves to be only marginally more effective than the mad professor and his hundreds of robot clones. More proof that Bal Masque really could wipe the floor Shana and/or Yuji, but they’re too bound to the Laws of Villainy (rule 3: make deaths long, painful, and very very avoidable) to do so.

Also, I keep looking back at that first sentence and imagining a giant robot spin-off of Shana. Yuuji’s trending the right way; in a couple more seasons he might be able to fill the Kamina role. Yanderes would achieve a great victory with new sniper-rifle-equipped Kazumi. And Shana…well…actually, I haven’t watched Gurren Lagann past episode one yet, so I can’t find any other female characters.

And in the end, the armor and its robot vision is defeated by … Konoe’s memories.

It’s like watching the punter run it in for the winning touchdown, or having the pitcher bat in the winning run. You can’t decide whether you got saved by a miracle or flat-out embarrassed that someone who wasn’t even supposed to be relevant one-upped all of you. At least it’s nothing compared to the red faces at Bal Masque HQ right now.

Speaking of, someone’s going to get sacked for the business decision of putting Konoe’s consciousness in the suit of armor. Hasn’t anyone learned that making non-living entities (usually robots) self-aware is a Very Bad Thing? Either they become sentinent and take over the world, or they end up pulling a divide by zero and bursting into flames.

Or perhaps, here, locking up enough to allow the flames to burst into it. Shana and Yuuji have a little screaming war here, with two pantheon-class Shouts Heard ‘Round The World. And you thought laughable voice acting was reserved for eroge.

REIJI MAIGO GET!

Somehow, I get the feeling that the reuniting of Yuuji and Reiji wasn’t quite as exciting as it could have been. No cries of “My precioussssss”? No innuendos of Yuuji putting the Reiji Maigo into himself and becoming one with it? No Hougucest with Yuuji and Pheles’s beau?

…actually, maybe it’s good they kept this simple.

Looks like someone forgot a semicolon.

And then Hecate cries, instantly pacifying her in the eyes of millions of viewers. Now, is she sad because:
A) She didn’t catch the bird in her hand
B) The failing of unimaginably evil plans is just so sad
C) Lewis Hamilton lost the world championship
D) Pheles is now hooking up with Wilhelmina instead of her (or, alternatively, Chris Hanson has not gotten to Sydonay yet)

What Shana is missing, part five…twelve…three hundred…escape scenes. C’mon, giant collapsing robot-like thing and all they do is jump to Shana and Yuji staring at it? Couldn’t they at least walk out of the flames or something?

C’mon, what these two need is another great bonding scene, and there’s no better way to get closer to someone than when you’re both trying not to die together.

Cue the ending insert song. At this point the 24 clock is loudly counting down the last seconds of the episode. Will the heroes (and by heroes, I mean Shana and Yuji) make it (and by make it, I mean a baby confess) in time?

Also, Kazumi in tears is the right mindset, Kazumi not in christmas meidofuku is not.

Satou gets approximately a fraction of a second of screen time. He’s still alive but quickly becoming first-string on the Uchida Squad. Nayuki does a better CTU agent impression, and…

Ike gets more screentime than him, in probably his second vaguely serious scene in the entire series. I’m not sure of Ike’s place in the story as the spoilers pointed to him getting shipped off to the great green room in the sky, but instead right now he’s stuck in a Fuuko-like state of flux. Real? Torch? We don’t know … but at least he’s not handing out wooden cut-outs of melonpan or something.

Or would that be better off than being dragged off by that one glasses girl every other scene? …I think I just answered that myself. Ike should totally hook up with her; Hiiragi managed to score a strict class rep using about 3 minutes of KimiKiss’s screentime, I’m sure Ike could borrow that much somewhere…

Meanwhile as the time winds down, Yuuji actually gets back to one of the core conflicts of the show in getting ready to solve the love triangle in probably what has been one of the least heated romantic conflicts ever. I feel like I’m watching Tony Stewart and Jeff Gordon fight for the lead, except they stay on opposite sides of the track, and at every turn one of them backs off the throttle to let the other guy through. And then Kyle Petty comes along to get laughed at and both the other guys pull off the track.

I mean, wow. Nothing says “I want Yuuji” like rolling over and letting a green-haired loli stomp all over you. At the very least Sydonay should have jumped in and gone “Nuh-uh, Hecate-clone’s mine.”

I’m turning tsundere I think I’m turning tsundere I really think so…

We’re up to special thanks in the credits already, but no worries, there’s always overtime after the final credit rolls.

And I still can’t decide what is more world-rockingly brain-paralyzingly meme-lockingly adorable, tsuntsun desu~ Shana…

Or “open wide for the melonpan” grin deredere Shana. For once I actually agree with the chosen ending girl. These ten seconds almost made the entire series for me. Despite it all I’m falling for the charms of Shana…although, for Shana, I’m not so sure.

Makes me wonder what would happen if they made a show made of pure concentrated moe – not even any jokes or fanservice or anything- like if they took a shy quiet clumsy meganekko and raised the alternating current on the tsundere generator to a thousand amps and drew her in chibi SD form half the time while having her spout monosyllabic phrases. I can see the headlines now; “Millions of puddles of melted anime fans found in front of computers worldwide; new show causes viewers to spontaneously combust from moe overload”.

Undoubtedly, Bandai Visual USA will license it and people will praise them for only charging $100 for a one-minute clip.

JCStaff! Are you watching the shot clock at all!? We’ve moved to a slow pan over a disconnected scene now without any words or explanation… but no need to panic yet.

Unrelated monologue and image! A white towel won’t save you from this!

On a scale of 1 to 10, the “don’t tell me this is happening” level of this, with the end of KimiKiss being a 10, and any episode of School Days being a 100, this is probably a solid 7, saved only by the fact that all signs point to new season.

C’mon, a parting shot, a confession at least? I don’t want to break out the “no way there’s an X on this” line again.

Going, going…

And Shana II is outta here. I feel somewhat ripped off considering that Ike was the only one with an audible face-to-face confession in the entire 24 episodes, and that

These two had the most relationship development out of anyone. I think Shana went backwards, if the blotted-out confession from episode 1 was actually supposed to have happened. The marvels of progress.

The next thing you know, they’ll say that Yuuji didn’t go to Shana at all. Yoshida was sad because she remembered she’s a side character, and Shana was joyously happy because she saw the melon-pan truck drive by. Yuuji, of course, took the harem’s lead option and got out of there before one of them broke out the boxcutters … or, in Shana’s case, worse.

Then again, Wilhelmina looked like she could have been waiting for something too… a shock ending de arimasu would probably be the most interesting result at this point. C’mon. Wilhelmina needs love. She’s stuck in that dead zone, not quite involved with anyone enough to land in the Nayuki Club, not quite tortured enough to land in Sacchin Society. And undoubtedly she is the most important issue of this show.

*crickets chirp, tumbleweed blows past, leaves swirl to create that ‘awkward silence’ effect*

Yup…these are my readers… or lack thereof.

-CCY

(In the end this was a lot harder to pull off than I first expected, one, because I’m horrible with sports references outside of auto racing, and two, because it’s hard to force humor, especially in the referential, meme-prone Jason style. Hopefully it wasn’t too bad, but I’m a lot happier with the humor work I’ve done for Team Zetsubou. I’ve tagged this under that because that’s my general ‘funny’ tag, nevertheless.

Sidetracked by Shiori will stay for another day, then it’s back to M3 as usual.)

What to do when you want to say something about a show where there’s really nothing to be said about it?

Unlike KimiKiss, where I can rant on and on for forever about how Yuumi is going to win lose end up alone turn lesbian for the frog sisters beat the everlasting crap out of Kouichi for being an idiot do something over the last two episodes, and unlike H2O which is really soul-rocking in it’s suck to not-suck conversion, Shana II at this point is pretty straightforward, a show that’s entertaining but not inherently analyzable, kind of like a good action movie.

So what to do when there’s jokes about making babies to be said, complaints to be voiced about Konoe Hecate, and poetic to be waxed about Ike?

The answer: more new features.

Team Zetsubou, which may or may not become a regular feature depending on how lazy and/or utterly insane I am, is a fallback type of humorous episode review / analysis, where everyone’s favorite manic mental characters from the popular dark comedy Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei get wielded as humorous stereotypes to add some flavor and some funny to a post.

All I can really say is that reading it will make more sense than me trying to explain it, although, given the style of the show, it’s doubtful that either makes sense. Still, I hope you enjoy this lighter feature, and until then, enjoy the first trial of Team Zetsubou in reviewing Shakugan no Shana II 22.

Who
is
this
Sacchin
and
why
is
she
sad?
Meet Me at Club Nayuki
Shakugan no Shana II – Episode 22

Sensei! It’s happened again!

What’s happened again, Kitsu?

Kazumi and Shana, they were going to confess to Yuuji, using proper stationery and technique and everything at the proper time, and then, and then, HECATE APPEARED AGAIN! She always appears at the most improper times to interrupt the really important moments!

(You couldn’t see that one coming a mile away? gg noob no re epic fail roflcopter. Still, Hecate needs to gtfo.)

Let’s not worry about that, ladies. What’s more important here than the interruption is the wonderful fact that Kazumi and Shana are settling their dispute the correct and Japanese animation way by peacefully working together to solve their issue of who gets Yuuji peacefully.

AHHH EF THAT WHO AM I KIDDING!? It’s stupid, no one acts like that especially not these two were were totally at war last season, but now in this season first they trip over themselves getting out of the way for a green-headed loli and now they’re being this indecisive about the love of their damn lives!? Putting all the choice on Yuuji, that’s a stupid idea! Poor guy doesn’t know what to do and he’ll probably end up picking the one that will slice his head off if he makes the wrong choice anyway! Give me a break, I ought to sue.

…also, I like eating McDonalds, shooting people in the head, and having large American breasts.

I, for one, liked this episode. It was romantic, funny, hinted at action, and, most importantly, encouraged a Shana x Kazumi pairing!

Wait, I thought you only liked yaoi couples?

Genderbending! It’s going to be the next big thing, right behind Wilhelmina x Bread. Wilhelmina is totally tsundere for bread.

You have a point…wait, those pairings aren’t proper and heterosexual AT ALL!

Still, talking about Wilhelmina, I was rather impressed with her character in this episode. She did the proper thing and didn’t spend too long drowning in her own angst like other characters in this show are oft to do. It was quite possibly the fastest conflict resolution this series has ever done, and I think that’s the proper way to do it. As opposed to spending ten episodes on it. I hope to see more of her love-love backstory in the future.

How about some other side characters next? How about Yuuji’s father, dropping the bomb that 1) he’s child number two, and 2) there’s soon to be child number three. Speaking of… Sensei, want to help me show Shana how to make some babies.

UWAHGAHARBLEAX – NO!

…All right, a speaking line!

(Yuuji’s parents must have been going at it a lot if they had to work for 14 years to get Yuuji … not to mention, they had only a few weeks for number three. Is that what side characters do when the main guys are off fighting?

Or, maybe, Yuuji’s dad cast a Fuzetsu and said “Honey, we’ve got the space-time continuum to ourselves, and we ain’t coming out till we got some babies.)

That aside I didn’t see any proper point in this segment of the show, as Yuuji’s parents are kind of sideshow characters and they don’t tend to drive much long-term plot aside from jokes about babies. I don’t see how this contributes much to the main story, although that certainly hasn’t stopped many slice-of-life shows, much less the first half of this series. I suppose it might be important if we ever get a third season of Shana, but that’s tentative in itself.

Speaking of, word is that the series is heading towards an anime original ending, closing out with Hecate. It seems like Yoshida’s life or death will be pivotal to any potential second season; she makes up a lot of the romance drama despite being an obviously outclassed character, and if she summons Pheles now, that will be the end of her and of most of the show, ruling out any random deux ex-es. There’s certainly material for a third season and I wouldn’t doubt it’s possible, but in terms of English fan love, Shana II’s getting hammered hard on the forums.

It’s not like the American opinions matter anyway, we Japanese have sensible taste and enjoy this show quite a lot, according to the forums.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE DON’T MATTER DON’T MAKE ME NUKE YOU.

…also, I like baseball, beer, and large American breasts.

What’s really frustrating about Yoshida’s character from an analytical perspective is that the only way she can stop really being sort of a necessary annoyance and obstruction is to sacrifice herself and summon Pheles, showing that her love for Yuuji goes beyond her life.

But if she does that, she will really redeem her character, which would suck because she would then be dead. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

(Game over. Time paradox.)

Speaking of bad situations, Ike was up to all manners of “Jiiiiii~” today, and is quite possibly the most interesting link in the Yoshida-Yuuji-Shana triangle. Although, truthfully, he’s not really playing a part in the triangle at all.

That’s not true! How could a person so close to me be forcefully shut out of a romance story? Anyone can win as long as they have deep love!

Kafuka, you don’t even know this guy, you’ve just watched this TV show of him!

That didn’t stop me from putting ten posters of Wilhelmina x Bread genderbending yaoi on my walls.

…

WHY DO I HAVE NO LINES, WHEN I’M THE OMNIPRESENT AUTHOR’S FAVORITE CHARACTER BY MILES!?

Uh, I mean…sen~sei~

Anyway, Ike. So he goes off and gets his hands in Shana and Kazumi’s wonderfully proper business, messing it all up again.

That’s not true! Ike is just acting out of deep love! It’s a wonderful thing for anyone to be told “I love you” and it’s a beautiful thing that Ike decided to act the way he did. Even Kazumi was moved by his words.

Uh, Kafuka? She was all distraught and curled up in her bed after that…

She was moved by his words!

But she was still too infatuated by Yuuji to even consider going after Ike. Even he probably knew that!

*wields giant cross* SHE WAS MOVED BY HIS WORDS.

Oshi- wait, that’s not a proper way to swear! And swearing isn’t proper! Wait, wait, wait, that doesn’t make any sense…

Anyway, it was a sweet scene to see Ike win the way he did.

(u kidding noob? Ike got pwned hard, it was epic fail -)

GIANT CROSS.

(Meru has exited #zetsubou: “Holy shit it’s a lion get to the chopper”)

Ike completely deserved to sweep Kazumi right off the feet into his arms. He was completely underrepresented throughout the whole show, continuing to get dragged off by that one council girl with glasses -

sweet lord yes meganekko 5/5 A++ would buy again.

…I’M IN DESPAIR! BEING TAKEN OVER BY THE AUTHOR’S FETISHIST MIND HAS LEFT ME IN DESPAIR!

– and in general getting beaten up by every other character. I’m sure many people could sympathize with his situation of being stuck with a crush he knows won’t work out in the end, and he did the honorable thing of not repressing his feelings and telling it to Kazumi straight, even when he knew he would be crushed.

Hell, you crazy, girl? He was totally hoping to score her on the rebound, since they’re in the same boat -

The same NICE boat.

…DESPAIR!

– of having no hope at all of scoring their true loves. Well, at least, Kazumi didn’t, so Ike was hoping she’d totally put out to him. Plus, he totally mindscrewed her! Imagine all the effort it takes to muster up the courage to confess to one guy and all of a sudden another one jumps on you!

GIANT EM-EFING CROSS.

Aside from the fact that I’m totally freaked out for my life here, I would have to agree with Kafuka that Ike’s actions here was really something touching. He deserves his moment in the spotlight after getting hammered on for so long, and I think it’s only fair that his feelings be expressed as well. They may not all be winners in love but they can say Ike went out with all guns firing, and did the right thing in getting his feelings out so that he can move on in his life.

Hell no, he should have kept stalking her until Yuuji finally blindsides her with the truth. Jiii~ power!

On that note, what happens if Kazuki really does end up sacrificing herself? Will the power-of-existence eating consume the fact that she ever really was there? Or will we get uber-mega-broken Ike? Either way is kind of sad.

I have two answers for you. One, ritual suicide,

and two, Jerry Springer. “He made the love of my life use up her power of existence to save his stupid loli tsundere!” GIVE ‘IM THE CHAIR, IKE!

…Uh, let’s see…any other ground we forgot to cover.

Oh, wait, yeah. Sabrac’s not dead. What the hell?

THEY PLAYED AN INSERT SONG! HOW COULD THAT NOT KILL HIM!?

I guess they still have to give him a proper death at the hands of white panti – er, Shana. But Hecate looks to be the main villain for the closing episodes (are we going to 24 or 26?), so I’m not sure where they’ll fit Sabrac. Maybe as a distraction while Hecate pseudo-rapes Yuuji again.

To the doujin machine~! Hecate-kun x Reiji Maigo x Yuuji!

Alright Chiri, I’ll take over from here since you and I have the exact same relevance here in actually talking normally about the show.

Hey, speaking of, where’s that “Don’t say normal!” girl? Did we miss some characters?

We missed a lot of characters. This doesn’t represent the Zetsubou class properly at all!

Maria’s still here! Even though Maria got no speaking lines, Maria is glad just to be here. Mega Megane Moe is such a nice blog!

I’M IN DESPAIR! EGOISTICAL SELF-REFERENCES HAVE LEFT ME IN DESPAIR!

C’mon, sen~sei~, we’re almost done, let me speak for a bit here. So, what we have to look forward to in the next few episodes goes something like this: exciting Hecate action, boring Hecate action, hopefully more awesome Sabrac and Wilhelmina fights, generally a lot of exciting action fight scenes, and absolutely no resolution between Yuuji, Shana and Kazumi until the last five seconds. I’m looking forward to it, in the end. Shana II might turn out to be a reasonably well done show after all.

(Well, if it weren’t so damn predictable all the time in regards to the romantic elements.)

And that’s that for the first outing of the Team Zetsubou Review. If you enjoyed it, please send donations in the form of love letters, cash, or sanity. And remember, stay in despair, kids! See, watch:

I’M IN DESPAIR! FORCING MYSELF TO BE IN DESPAIR HAS LEFT ME IN DESPAIR!
I’M IN DESPAIR! BEING IN DESPAIR ABOUT BEING IN DESPAIR LEAVES ME IN EVEN MORE DESPAIR!
I’M IN DESPAIR! YET AGAIN BEING IN DESPAIR ABOUT…

-CCY

(Dear God no I am not putting an alt-image on every one of those pictures.)