Now of course, like most things I write, I’m too lazy to fill you in on the details especially given that many other bloggers have helpfully done it for me – suckers – so I will skip to the meat of this review and that is tearing this effort a new one.

To do this today I decided to disseminate RenAi Blogger in a completely novel and unique format that no other idiotic dinosaur could copy and that is in an exhausting multi-round fight contrasting and comparing it to some other popular visual novels in the industry in a half-humorous, half-serious manner.

Of course, RenAi Blogger is only a four-month, one-person effort and so it would be cruel to line it up against visual novels that took dozens of people years to complete … so I decided to set the bar a bit lower. I figured another doujin effort would be fine – but I only had one of those that I actually played, so I settled for picking up another first visual novel, one that was the beginning in a long pedigree of games.

And so there the three competitors sat…at least virtually, on my hard drive.

One doujin visual novel, and one first-in-a-series visual novel. Can Hinano’s top either?

Round 1: Amount of Paths I Can Complete in A Week
Tsukihime: Well, I completed the game in a week, so five. Five and change if you count Eclipse, the easter eggs, getting all the endings, etc… Still, Tsukihime has one major flaw, in that it obviously is missing a sixth path…

ONE: One. Oh, the irony! Almost as ironic as this game is slow. I’m sure I could have done more of the five available routes… but I really couldn’t be arsed. ONE has one major flaw, and that’s that it is boring as hell at the start and quite frustrating too.

RenAi Blogger: 336. No, really! I did 4 paths in 2 hours. With 24 hours in a day I could do 48 paths a day. Seven days a week, that’s 336 paths. Unfortunately, the major flaw of RenAi Blogger is that it only has 4 paths; obviously Hinano did not do enough searching of the Anime Nano directory. C’mon, at least a Sat-chan path…?

Advantage: Tsukihime
Runner-up: RenAi Blogger

Round 2: Difficulty
Tsukihime: It’s a reasonably tough game and if you’re not careful you’re likely to be eaten by a land shark (no, really), but at least you screw up pretty instantly for the most part. It’s challenging but rewarding.

ONE: You’re very likely to screw up – there’s at least one ten-question, multiple-choice quiz with no obvious choice for the right answer, you can’t use the otaku cheat and pick the love-love option every time, and you usually don’t know you’ve messed up until the game suddenly throws the bad end credits at you.

It seems the least punishing game on the surface, but that’s just because it doesn’t tell you “hey you’re going to die alone since you didn’t NOT hang out with Nanase”.

RenAi Blogger: Not bad – there’s a couple false turns you’ll fall for, but otherwise it was a good difficulty. Except for Hinano’s path, which is a pain to stumble upon (only JP can comment on the realism of that). The first day where you meet the heroines is amusing too:

Me: “I want to go to the library.”
Game: “Nah, I forgot what to do there.”
Me: “I want to go to the library.”
Game: “No, you can’t.”
Me: “I want to go to the library, damn game!”
Game: “NO, GO TO THE PARK AND GET YOUR FACE EATEN BY A HAMSTER ALREADY.”

Advantage: Tsukihime
Runner-up: RenAi Blogger

Round 3: Comprehensibility
Tsukihime: This monologue. This monologue. This monologue. This monologue is f’ing confusing.

Seriously? I doubt we’re supposed to understand half of Shiki’s drug-induced ramblings at all, but still. I could write this if I had an hour to program a bot to grab random verbs and nouns from a dictionary.

It’s not that bad on the whole, but really Nasu-isms are their own language, and so I have to make fun of them for that.

ONE: Y’know, I really have nothing to say here. Kouhei’s a normal high school student who talks in normal Japanese that is translated into normal English pretty well.

…That’s kind of boring. Like half the cast.

RenAi Blogger: As a Grammar Nazi, I am contractually obligated to act personally offended every time there’s an extra exclamation point or forgotten punctuation, so let me just tell you, Hinano, your game makes me cry inside, even after I get over the fact that I just got branded a pedophile.

All right, it’s still readable, as all three of these visual novels are. But the point stands, that somewhere, some sentence is sitting in a corner sobbing, wondering where its little punctuation mark went.

Advantage: ONE
Runner-up: RenAi Blogger

Round 4: Harem Fight
Tsukihime: Let’s see…

Ciel: Yes. (Curry gags aside, I’m good with her at Melty Blood and she doubles as a meganekko.)
Kohaku: Yes. (Uh…I’m not sure why. Because otherwise she’ll kill your family?)
Akiha: Yes. (Pettan pettan tsundere~? Oh, and siscon too. Ojou-sama. Etcetera.)
Hisui: YES. (I’m a pathetic otaku, I like shy subserviant women.)
Arc: OK…I relent…this one’s a meh.
Satsuki: HELL YE – … wait … DAMNIT!

ONE: Hmm..

Nanase: OK. (Only one whose path I’ve finished. By-the-numbers tsundere, but at least she’s a blue twintail.)
Mizuka: Meh. (Childhood friend … boring.)
Misaki: Promising. (Shiori Mach II Beta, with an amped-up status ailment)
Mio: I WANTS. (Cute, adorable, and a lot of fun to play in Eternal Fighter Zero.)
Mayu: Haven’t seen her yet. But what’s with all the ‘M’ names?
Akane: I heard her path was good. Otherwise whatever.

RenAi Blogger: Generic lead-in comment…

Hinano: lololol (but we don’t see enough characters like her in visual novels.)
Natsuko: Wai~ (Long hair is good, so is being a meganekko … and I swear, she’s the first “loli” that doesn’t look it in-game. My favorite route, personally.)
Jen: Um- (OK, so I forgot about her route already. I’m sure it was passable. Sorry!)
C.J.: Megane! (Well, yeah. I’ve forgotten a lot about this route too. So I played a bit fast, so what?!)

Advantage: Tsukihime
Runner-up: Ren-Ai Blogger

Round 5: Awkwardness of Harem Fight Comparison
Tsukihime: I’ve got no complaints really. You may guess, but this is really just an elaborate setup to rag on RenAi Blogger.

ONE: Eh… sometimes ONE’s harem rubs me a bit the wrong way like most Key ones do for cranking the otaku-fantasy switch to 11. Tsukihime gets away with it because it’s not a generic school life situation, I suppose.

RenAi Blogger: They’re real. Like, serious. 3D and whatever. I assume, anyway.

OK, OK, I assume that some (read: many) creative liberties were taken in the creation of this visual novel in the name of entertainment, but somehow I think using “actual” personas with fake personalities is more creepy than using fake personas with real personalities. Who knows.

Advantage: Tsukihime
Runner-up: ONE

Round 6: Moe Factor
Tsukihime: YES. YES YES YES. YES YES YES YES YES.

Uh.

Excuse me.

ONE: Reasonably? Some characters are very strong in getting me in a puddle on the floor, but others are just so, so…meh.

RenAi Blogger: I’m either too sane or too cowardly to run around raving about how Natsuko is moe, so, uh, no?

Advantage: Tsukihime
Runner-up: ONE

Round 7: H-Scenes
Tsukihime: Let me tell you a story. This is the story of a programmer named CCY who had only minimal experience to anime and visual novels, who played Tsukihime for the first time. This CCY decided that when Shiki went to sleep after defeating Nero, that Akiha would be the most likely choice for a person to show up at his door late at night.

He later decided that was a bad idea.

Seriously, the Akiha dream scene is the only one that features 1) disturbing amounts of siscon fapping plus maid service and 2) the complete lack of “oh, by the way, it’s a dream so don’t flip out that suddenly all the characters want to rape you more than usual” notification.

ONE: Our protagonist narrates himself in the one H-scene I came across. I found this completely hilarious.

Also, the H-scenes are realistically short, like those of most otaku.

RenAi Blogger: …

…

Are you serious?

…Pervert.

Advantage: ONE
Runner-up: Renai Blogger

Round 8: Did I Cry?
ONE: No, although I almost watered up in a mix of being rocked by the plot and frustrated by an early ending.

RenAi Blogger: No. Didn’t quite laugh enough to get tears in my eyes, either.

Tsukihime: I cried buckets. Don’t misread that!

Actually, it really does share a lofty position with AIR the anime as one of the few works to leave me emotionally shaken to the point of tears. This is naturally an unfair comparison, because now I’m jaded and now I watch haremettes keel over without raising an eyebrow, but still, the point stands that Tsukihime is a very affecting work.

Advantage: Tsukihime
Runner-up: ONE

Round 9: Hilarity
Tsukihime: Neko-Arc! Kagetsu Tohya! And on and on.

Tsukihime the game for the most part is serious business – there were probably a few funny parts but very few come instantly to mind (the only one I can get is Shiki and Hisui’s disagreement over honorifics) but outside of the canon storyline it maintains its stride in excellent fashion.

Perhaps this is because of the following category, at least in part, but the sheer size of the Tsukihime universe has allowed more than its share of amusing side stories.

ONE: Well, a few moments made me smirk but checking my screencap folder of ’shots I should save for later because they’re interesting’, I’ve got only about 20. Remember, that’s 20 three-line dialogue boxes.

RenAi Blogger: Pick your poison – traps, lolicon jokes, internet references, in-joke absurdity, the list goes on.

At this point (and by ‘at this point’ I mean ‘I exhausted all the funny material on the other sections and am just now finishing this section’) I should be breaking out the “by anibloggers, for anibloggers” stamp on this one.

Advantage: Tsukihime
Runner-up: RenAi Blogger

Round 10: In-Joke Potential
Tsukihime: This Chair, The Anime Is a Lie, Isn’t it Sad, So Moe I Might Die, etc. It could spawn in on itself for all eternity.

ONE: Meh. AIR and Kanon were cooler, even in EFZ. I suppose Mizuka’s time freeze attack was pretty cool but I have no idea how that ties in to the VN itself. So…no.

RenAi Blogger: If you ever have read Hinano’s blog, many of the events in the VN are side-splitting. Damn it, didn’t I just do a section on comedy?

Advantage: Tsukihime
Runner-up: RenAi Blogger

Round 11: Fangirl Bait
Tsukihime: Arihiko? Yeah, right. How about some Shiki x Nanaya selfcest?

Actually…that one might be plausible. Shiki is probably manly enough with his hax mode to make the fangirls scream, even if he does have homely glasses and a friendly grin and hair that doesn’t cover his eyes.

ONE: Supposedly there’s a secret ending, or path, or something you can unlock with some guy in the music room. I don’t know. Both Kouhei and Sumii the Harem Runner-Up aren’t attractive really.

RenAi Blogger: Protip – you can actually SEE Chase’s face in some of the scenes! Didn’t they ban that in one of the Ren’Ai Production Acts?

Also, LMAO ROFLCOPTER XDD etc @ Impz.

Advantage: RenAi Blogger
Runner-up: Tsukihime

Round 12: Bad Ends
Tsukihime: Many amusing ones. I think the first one I remember is being spontaneously eaten by a shark when picking the wrong route with Arcueid in the hotel. (That should lead to some amusing assumptions…)

Then there’s some serious ones, some weird ones, some sad ones (damn right Sacchin gets a whole chapter for her bad end), and … well … a lot of bad endings. When you have to fight people AND romance the ladies, life gets difficult even for a pimp like Shiki.

Also, Neco-arc and Ciel-sensei are always a treat after each ending.

ONE: You die lonely, after many months of pretending you’re on someone’s route. And by “die lonely” I mean “continue your normal life except without a girlfriend and with some depressing music in the background.

RenAi Blogger: Well, you can get called a lolicon, end up alone, get Nice Boat’d, be cockblocked by JP, but I think getting yaoi-paddled to death is tops, bar none.

Advantage: RenAi Blogger
Runner-up: Tsukihime

Round 13: Does This Game Make Me Feel Smart?
Tsukihime: I got owned by being cocky a lot of the time, true. My mark of good things here is whether 1) I can pick the right choice and 2) if the right choice is exceedingly dumb or not.

Here, you can’t skim through the game jumping through obvious choices like 1) jam it in or 2) don’t jam it in, and if you read the text you actually do gain some hints on what is the correct thing to do – the first Nero fight comes to mind.

So in conclusion, I’m not sure if Tsukihime makes me feel smart, but it doesn’t make me feel dumb and it sure as hell makes me feel badass.

ONE: No. Dear God, no. It took me at least two full playthroughs plus a couple dozen reloads to get on my first path.

And that was because I consulted a walkthrough, the greatest sin of any game player. So no. ONE makes my head sad, perhaps because it’s the most realistic and makes you do a lot of stupid things to end up with a girl.

RenAi Blogger: Most of the time, yes, surprisingly. I got burnt my first time, but I can attest that to getting railroaded onto the lolicon path. C’mon, Chase is only like what, two, three years older?

This game inspired this section though, mainly because it exhibited good mastery of A Very Important otaku lesson and that is to know when to be a romantic sap and when not to be.

And damn right I fist-pumped every time I managed to clear the final choice hurdle on the first attempt. Bring on the distorted personalities, real life.

Advantage: RenAi Blogger
Runner-up: Tsukihime

Round 14: Usefulness as a Real-Life Aid
Tsukihime: Well, I’ve never seen any dotted lines when taking my glasses off. I don’t have a little sister, any maids, a sad childhood friend (or any friends really) and I’ve never met anyone who tried to kill me or suck my blood. Never even used a pocketknife.

ONE: Well, I’m not living by myself and stumbling across a bunch of random stereotyped girls who want to jump my bones.

RenAi Blogger: Wow, the Book Off in New York has two floors? I’m jealous – out here they only have one. I want to go now.

Advantage: RenAi Blogger
Runner-up: ONE

Round 15: Realism Factor
Tsukihime: Not realistic at all, but why the hell would it need to be? It’s so over-the-top dot-stabbing, vampire-slaying, Nasu-monologuing action that it works great in its own right. Not realistic in the terms of the real-world, but a believable fantasy world.

ONE: Well, I’m not living by myself and stumbling across a bunch of random stereotyped girls who want to jump my bones. I am, however, experiencing deja vu.

RenAi Blogger: I was thinking about giving RenAi Blogger the edge in this one … but in C.J’s route Hinano actually sells a copy of her doujinshi. That’s a suspension-of-disbelief breaker if I ever saw it.

Advantage: Tsukihime
Runner-up: ONE

Round 16: Cost
Tsukihime: Um … well… I bought Melty Blood Act Cadenza for the PS2. And the Colorful Moon art book. And a keychain from Fanime.

ONE: Er … ah… I bought the Kanon R1 DVDs. And the AIR R1 DVDs. And about a billion Megami posters of Key characters.

RenAi Blogger: Free!

Advantage: RenAi Blogger
Runner-up: Tsukihime

Overall Standings:
Two points awarded for each 1st place, one point for each 2nd.

Bronze Medal: ONE (2-5-9) – 9 pts
In the Middle: RenAi Blogger (5-7-4) – 17 pts
Third From Last: Tsukihime (9-4-3) – 24 pts

Verdict:

So, should you play RenAi Blogger?

The stats say that it’s better than a Key work, albeit worse than another doujin effort, after all.

If you’re here you’re either a rabid fan of mine that reads all my posts, in which case I would like to humbly thank you for sticking through a post that was pieced together over three very discombobulated days, or, less likely, you’ve already played RenAi Blogger (or Tsukihime, or ONE, etc) and want to hear me insult it.

So, the question becomes: should you have played RenAi Blogger?

I think, if you’re here right now, the answer is yes. I’ve gotten me enough of a piece of fangirl rage in real life to know to say that.

But seriously, if you read my blog, you’re probably either a aniblogger yourself or pretty into the anime blogging scene (or anime in general) and you would be a great target audience for this kind of work.

What RenAi Blogger lacks in length, depth, or punctuation it makes up with that feeling of a true doujin work, one that really was made by someone who knows the scene. In this case the scene involves lots of cheesiness, New York-itude, and internet memes, but hey, whatever works.

You’ll smile, you’ll laugh, and maybe if you’re less restrained you’ll be endeared to the character designs.

And for God’s sake, you can finish it in an hour or two, about the same time it takes a lousy internet connection like mine to download it. You’ve wasted that length of time in worse ways before.

If RenAi Blogger proves anything it’s that indie efforts from the aniblogger community are way cool and well-recieved by other ‘in’ hipsters like me. So, who – and what’s – next? Somehow I just pictured an aniblogger Wario Ware-type concoction…*

-CCY

*I don’t expect anyone to take this seriously, so don’t tell me I’m crazy for demanding something like that…

(And yes, my next post actually will probably be an analytical one.)

Following the two-and-change shoujo shows in this season has been an interesting look at the sort of evolution this genre has undergone in the 21st century.

There are distinct kinds of styles found in these shows tailored for the female audience – although they still manage to find a large audience for both genders with their emphasis on the emotional and with their sense for gender-neutral slapstick conversational / slapstick humor.

Itazura na Kiss is a throwback to the old days, the anime of the early 90’s built off of manga even older. (Perhaps that’s because it actually is such a well-aged title.) It has a very strong romantic undertone to it, featuring the ever-popular tale of a prospective couple shoved in close quarters. Like many shows of this day, the lead girl is unmistakably the main focus, as she tries to work her way into the heart of the male lead. This is always a large part of the story, with the emotions of the male lead often obscured from view; although, there is always time for more side characters and their stories.

Special A is the new-age shoujo, one with a more balanced feel to its mix of comedy and romance. In here it’s not so much about life lessons and love as much as it is simply having fun; being patently ridiculous in the name of hilarity is all part of the equation. There are interludes for sweet moments, but not even all of these are serious. The story is quite often episodic, with morsels of plot scattered among challenges or events of the week.

Just over a week ago I pitted these two shows against each other after their third episode and declared Special A to be the show with the better start. It was more amusing and had a more appealing cast; although, I declared, when they both stopped spinning their tires and started moving forward with the plot, Itazura na Kiss might be able to make a comeback.

Two episodes later for the both of them I’ve got reason to think just so, but don’t count the comeback done just yet; a new show’s entered in style, smashing through the proverbial glass windows, and it’s name is Toshokan Sensou, i.e. Library War.

Toshokan Sensou at first glance is hardly a shoujo show at all. Anything which has ‘war’ in the title, and features footage of uniformed soldiers engaged in firefights would appear to be much more appealing to adrenaline-filled males.

But look past that and you’ll see an equally engaging second side revolving around the life of Iku Kasahara, a female enlistee in the Library Task Force. Her business relationship with Instructor Dojo, someone who might have a bit more for her that what it seems, and the amusing breaks for slapstick comedy in this show, are definitely enough to flag this down as a show with more than a moderate feminine spin. (This, backed up by the fact that Toshokan Sensou has been serialized as a shoujo manga.)

As we approach the halfway mark for some of these shows on their one-cour (~12 episodes) schedule, it’s time to reevalute the worthiness – as one not quite humble blogger will gauge – of these shoujo-styled anime, in the quickly-becoming infamous fashion of the Series Showdown comparisons.

Except wordy, y’know, but that shouldn’t be a shocker.

Lightning Round – Word Association

Broken
Special A: Records.
Toshokan Sensou: Windows.
Itazura na Kiss: Kin-chan.

Education
Special A: Elitist group of smart students spends budget on boat parties to keep the proletariat dumb.
Itazura na Kiss: Study session orgy with entire class hosted at one student’s house, remains worksafe somehow.
Toshokan Sensou: Bald cult group gets schooled.

Fathers
Special A: Voiced by squeaky females.
Toshokan Sensou: In the green room.
Itazura na Kiss: Comic relief.

Tsundere
Toshokan Sensou: Guys. (Of the protective variety.)
Itazura na Kiss: Guys. (Of the cold variety.)
Special A: Guys. (Of the protective and cold variety.)

Round 1: Male Lead Battle Royal
Special A: Guy (Kei) likes girl, secretly. To show this, he kicks her ass ten ways from Sunday in various competitions. Slowly, he stops being flirty and starts becoming overprotective and jealous of other guys.
Toshokan Sensou: Guy (Dojo) likes girl, secretly, kind of, sort of. To show this, he assigns her to menial duties which don’t involve getting shot in the back. Slowly, he stops underestimating her and sees how similar she is to his past self.
Itazura na Kiss: Guy (Naoki) hates girl, openly. To show this, he acts like a jerk around her. Slowly, he stops being a jerk and starts acting cool and flirty around her. Finally, someone gets it!

Advantage: After the first few episodes, I wanted to rip Naoki’s throat (among other vital organs) out, a sharp contrast to my enjoyment of the coy, flirty Kei. But more and more I’m beginning to this that was just me getting played just as ItaKiss planned, as I’m beginning to enjoy the way Naoki is beginning to resemble old Kei in the way he acts and messes with Kotoko. Naoki isn’t an unrealistic character by any means either the way he slowly warms up to Kotoko, and he helps make ItaKiss a more full show, to the contrast of the almost too-lighthearted Special A.

Meanwhile, Kei’s been going downhill as we see the dark side of him in recent episodes of Special A. It’s the converse way of approaching things, in portraying a character as perfect, then revealing their dark past. It’s worked before, but watching Kei be so immaturely jealous of obvious non-contenders like the student council president hurts. There’s probably also an innate level of realism in his rapid mood swings regarding his not-obvious-at-all longing for Hikari, but I’m not feeling it as much as Naoki now that Kei has lost his sharp witty edge.

Dojo is kind of a non-participant here and in Toshokan Sensou; although he is the closest to a destined guy the series is going to get, the attention is unmistakably around Kasahara. He has recieved proportionally less screentime than the other two male leads, perhaps because he keeps assigning Kasahara to different roles in different situations. Still, there are some strong scenes involving the two of them, and it was touching seeing him relate Kasahara to his past self, showing his understanding of both her and himself and revealing his rationale for assigning her such demeaning roles.

Overall, this one’s going to – yes, I said it – Itazura na Kiss, mainly because me liking a character and me thinking a character is a good one are two separate battles. Speaking of…

Round 2: “Have Your Kamina Glasses Handy” Manliness-Sustaning Ability
Toshokan Sensou: Gunfights. What more do I need to say?
Special A: Flowery backgrounds, but played off for comedic effect. Enough slapstick to convince people you’re watching a school life.
Itazura na Kiss: Look out, cold distant male lead! Glomping, hearts, and putting-on-lipstick-in-ending ensues.

Advantage: The easy choice for those not confident enough in their ability to stomach pure shoujo sappiness is Toshokan Sensou, although a show like this could turn either way in terms of actual shoujo content. Special A is a good middle ground for those who want their romantic parts and longing stares diluted with heavy doses of comedy. Itazura na Kiss is a no-holds-barred shoujo, right down to the dated art, but it still pales in comparison to the shows that can make spider webs out of relationship charts.

But really, you watch anime, it’s all hentai anyway, why do you worry about a little girliness?

(Note: above statement may contain libel.)

Round 3: Female Lead Battle Royale (with extra-fancy e)
Toshokan Sensou: Energetic, outspoken, well-meaning girl competes to save books.
Special A: Outspoken, well-meaning, energetic girl competes for superiority over the school’s resident number one student.
Itazura na Kiss: Well-meaning, energetic, outspoken girl competes for the heart of the school heart-throb.

Advantage: While all three main girls have a large amount in common in terms of characteristics, it’s not such a bad thing as all of them are doing excellent jobs holding up their respective shows. They all represent the strong, smart and soft-hearted character shoujo stereotype that makes feminists happy and makes for great characters, in that they can alternate between comic, emotional, and reflective personas almost on a whim.

Hikari of Special A will take the prize here for the most enjoyable female lead; perhaps this is a bit of a bias, but her hypercompetitive attitude and always optomistic, upbeat personality exudes charm and charisma, and even if she is a bit dense and exaggerated, she’s still all manners of fun.

Kasahara from Toshokan Sensou is equally admirable, in the way she stands up for what she believes, and stays calm under fire, both literal and proverbial. She definitely has a lighter side as well, as seen in her enthusiastic yet remarkably candid discussion with Tezuka in episode 4. But, perhaps since Toshokan Sensou has so many other intriguing characters, she doesn’t stand out like Hikari does.

Kotoko’s a mixed bag. At times she can deliver the best insights, or bring the most powerful emotions, both as a result of her obsession with Naoki. But on the other hand, sometimes she just seems like your normal ditzy, comedic female heroine who doesn’t stand out from the crowd. Overall, I would rate her as a character who is likable, although not all that unique. Like Naoki before, she does have potential though.

Overall: Although this comparison may be a bit on the short side, each one of these series has inspired me at least at one point to write lots and lots of words on them. To take an excuse, each one of them, as originally mentioned and hinted at, has really a style of their own, and even though they can all be stamped with the same general genre, they all have different appeals and drawbacks.

Special A is one of the weaker shows overall at the moment, suffering a weak fourth and fifth episode after an amusing start, seeming to prove that it can do comedy a lot better than it can do emotion. The serious aspects of the last few episodes seemed a bit tacky and flat, and even the humor was hit or miss, but I wouldn’t count this one down yet. The cast as a whole is quite likable, with a wide range of personalities, and there’s certainly a second chance for redemption once Hikari and Kei realize their feelings for each other – assuming it isn’t at the very end.

Toshokan Sensou is a great show, one of my overall favorites of this season. This is more due to the fact that it is a jack of all trades, though, than its merit as a shoujo. Rather, it does shoujo quite well, and does action quite well, and with these two magnitudes combined it is great. I wouldn’t reccomend it for those looking for a sweet love story alone, but for anyone looking for a time that is simply entertaining and enrapturing, I wouldn’t look any further than this. The action does a great job of leaving you on edge, and the everyday elements of the show both amuse and provide more things to talk about – for example, Tezuka’s asking out of Kasahara, or Kasahara’s backstory with her family and friendship with Shibahime.

Itazura na Kiss, though, finally, as everyone else has been saying for a bit longer than me, is walking out of here king of the sweet stuff tonight. Naoki is an annoying character at first sight, but can still manipulate both the viewers and Kotoko, and in the end can offer up a few insights consistent with that of a distant, but not emotionless character. The scope of the anime, from what has been spoiled of it (perhaps an unfair advantage) is impressive, and the fight of Kotoko is admirable to watch. It’s a bit frayed around the edges with a somewhat ridiculous side cast and a tinge of unrealisticness (among more realistic elements, anyway), but it’s my go-to this season for a warm, bubbly time; although the quick laughs of Special A or the overall entertainment value of Toshokan Sensou shouldn’t be underestimated either.

-CCY

(It feels like a really tiring, summer day today, and I think my post reflects it. Makes me want to go try Aria again…)

(Also, thanks to Cameron for the link to my previous Shoujo Showdown post)

Ironically enough the first three shows I watched were the three I expected most to make me want to go Oedipus and stab my eyes out, the fanservicey pair of To-Love-Ru and Kanokon, and the BL (Boys’ Love) show Junjou Romantica.

It was an experiment of sorts, a stretching of boundaries to see whether perhaps there was good in these two genres after all, but more than an experiment, it was a chance to satirize the hell out of these three shows…

(Surprisingly, the post is relatively safe for work after the jump, as all images are in spoiler tags so you can choose to view them or not, in case LOOK OUT SHE’S RIGHT BEHIND YOU CLOSE IT!

But seriously, no actual nudity, just some very close or – depending on your orientation – very awkward content.)

Round 1: Rocking OP Challenge
Junjou Romantica: Show ▼

Kanokon: Show ▼

To-Love-Ru: Show ▼

Advantage: To-Love-Ru’s OP takes it easily with some clever animation and a song that will leave you bobbing your head for hours to come. Junjou takes second with a rock song which, while also fundamentally good, doesn’t have the same creativity, with the animation taking a couple cues from the garden center of a Wal-Mart. Kanokon’s is relatively forgettable. What’s with that generic logo?

Round 2: First Blood Facepalm
To-Love-Ru: Show ▼

Kanokon: Show ▼

Junjou Romantica: Show ▼

Humiliating the Others: Ironically I had the longest holdout on Kanokon before wondering just what I had gotten myself into. In terms of “amount of websites I decided to check while letting the show run its course” Kanokon probably racked up the score count, followed by Junjou. To-Love-Ru had an early out with some random jiggling after a Star Wars parody, while Junjou pulled off a whopping six seconds of sanity before throwing in random BL.

Round 3: Halo Character Award Presented by Mountain Dew
To-Love-Ru: Show ▼

src=”http://m3.dasaku.net/images/fanserviceFight/halo_tlr.png” alt=”" />

Kanokon: Show ▼

Junjou Romantica: Show ▼

Winner: To-Love-Ru’s Haruna is probably the most horribly stereotypical shonen romance lead ever, being oh-so-perfect, yet reserved, and secretly harboring a crush on the protagonist. But it doesn’t matter, because she’s cute and she doesn’t have a tail, unlike many other characters in the three shows combined. Kanokon’s twins are adorable in sync as well, although they don’t seem like main characters. Junjou, don’t call me a homophobe for picking the one straight guy; I enjoy characters with permanently pleasant demeanors like his, plus in the flashback he seemed like a mature, protective guy too. Ooh, that last one put me over the edge into BL land, that’s not good.

Round 4: The “This Isn’t What It Looks Like!” Trophy Sponsored by Every Harem Male … Ever
To-Love-Ru: Show ▼

Kanokon: Show ▼

Junjou Romantica: Show ▼

Champion: Junjou Romantica has undoubtedly the closest to a sex scene that the three of these dirty-minded shows had in the first 25 minutes, however, since it probably was a sex scene, I will have to disqualify it, and reach for the eye bleach. Kanokon came dangerously close as well, leaving many contemplating when Chizuru will release her direct-to-DVD special, and To-Love-Ru was relatively tame, although much more sound-effect-minded with its magical erojiji transformation.

Round 5: Most Magically Delicious Premise
To-Love-Ru: Show ▼

Kanokon: Show ▼

Junjou Romantica: Uh… there has to be some magic between the main guy and Usagi…or something…
Victor: Although To-Love-Ru’s premise is arguably more rooted in the supernatural compared to Kanokon’s ‘foxes-with-ballistic-bosoms’, I’m giving the edge to Kanokon because Lala didn’t prance around and say “kon kon, nyan nyan”. Junjou is remarkably down to earth, something that I still find respectable in a show … although it certainly makes up for its technical sanity in its plotwise insanity. “So I heard you have a deep and traumatic past, eh? Haha, yeah right.” “Actually, I do.” oshi~ instant characterization!

Round 6: The Facial Contortion Pantheon Challenge
To-Love-Ru: Show ▼

Kanokon: Show ▼

Junjou Romantica: Show ▼

Chosen One: To-Love-Ru will be recieving a call from a certain J**** M*** very soon, no doubt, as Rito is really getting some exercise in his face – not to mention all the blood he’s been rushing to it. Kanokon and Junjou are more tame, although Junjou tends to have chibi contortion action. Also, do note that this Kanokon screencap is entirely different from the Kanokon halo character screencap.

Round 7: The “Don’t Shoot Your Eye Out” Award
To-Love-Ru: Show ▼

Kanokon: Show ▼

Junjou Romantica: Thankfully, no.
And The Award Goes To…: Kanokon, by a foot. Which, in this case, is a lot. To-Love-Ru gets second by default.

Round 8: Most Likely To Drive Sales of DVDs
To-Love-Ru: Show ▼

Kanokon: Show ▼

Junjou Romantica: Show ▼

Paying the Bills: Oddly enough, Kanokon would seem to be a lock for this segment as overall it is much more ecchi than To-Love-Ru, but it seems to play the strategy of ‘putting all the cards on the table at the start’, instead of TLR, which brought in the fog machine and spent endless hours working Lala’s hair and the laws of physics over just right. Junjou has mysterious darkness which doesn’t look to cover much but it’d be easy to expand the scene.

Round 9: Most Annoying Shoujo Flowers
Junjou Romantica: Show ▼

Kanokon: Nope.
To-Love-Ru: Nuh-uh.
Winner (Loser): I don’t understand this trend at all, and it reminds me of the 6th or 7th volume of the Kare Kano manga where it took me a full five pages to realize “Oh, they were doing it” because the pages looked more like a nursery than the throes of passion. Also, Junjou earns an ‘ironic lyric bonus’ here.

Round 10: “I can’t believe it’s actually funny!” Kodak Moment
To-Love-Ru: Show ▼

Kanokon: Show ▼

Junjou Romantica: Show ▼

Side-Splitter: Kanokon, oddly, had the most moments that legitimately put a smile on my face, such as the twins’ antics, the whole ‘pata pon pata pon kon kon nyan nyan’ cosplay segment, Kouta’s “Dear goldfish in heaven I’m going to become a real man!”, and you know, the whole hilarity of Chizuru suddenly deciding to throw herself all over someone just over half her size … although that one wasn’t intentional. Junjou had some cute moments, such as how the main guy pulled a good Kagamin impression when reading the ero-manga, or Usagi’s “You said yourself any man would do”. To-Love-Ru’s shining moment was watching Rito get increasingly involved in ridiculous circumstances while trying to confess.

Round 11: Wall of Text Discussion About How Much The Main Character Sucks
To-Love-Ru: Rito is pretty much the stock stereotype for every shonen romance hero ever. He’s brash and enthusastic when it comes to love, but he’s always failed and his dream girl is more out of reach than an Ivy League to a 2.0 GPA student. He’s easily flustered and doesn’t know how to handle an actual woman coming into his life, yet he can step up to the plate with his back against the wall. There’s certainly been worse, but Rito isn’t memorable enough for me.
Kanokon: Kouta’s like three feet tall. That’s freaky, although I don’t blame him for his actions around Chizuru.
Junjou Romantica: Well, I still don’t know his name, that’s one for a start. Plus, the character archetype of “Gee why is my face red and why am I thinking of HIM? It couldn’t be love never not in a million years because that would be too obvious” I find really annoying, male or female.
After Much Discussion, The Committee Has convened And Through A Unanimous Decision Has Decided To Award the 2008 Wall of Text Discussion About How Much The Main Character Sucks Award To: As typical, I give the highest accolades to the one I write the most about, whether in a good way or a bad way. Rito’s a nice guy deep down, or something, so I’d support him. Kouta, size and ero-king status aside, I’m pretty neutral for, and Junjou Guy is just kind of awkward at the moment. I really hope that’s not my bias talking.

Round 12: The Jiggle Counter/em>
To-Love-Ru: Six
Kanokon: Eight, plus eleven additional sound effects
Junjou Romantica: None, thankfully
Most Made of Jell-O: Kanokon is unsurprisingly the king here, although I thought the numbers would have risen higher for the female-laden shows. Over 24 episodes at this rate, it does add up to more than the amount of “uguu~”s in Kanon 2006, though. I prefer To-Love-Ru’s subtlety, at least; I don’t understand why animators have to draw our attention to a shot that’s already filling the screen anyway. Junjou, unsurprisingly, scored a blank here, at least, and I respect it for that.

Round 13: Most Inconvenient Truth to The Human Race
To-Love-Ru: Show ▼

Kanokon: Show ▼

Junjou Romantica: Show ▼

Won The Swing Vote: To-Love-Ru states that if you sit in your bathtub long enough, hot naked girls will appear. Kanokon tells you that foxy girls like to jump and rub their breasts all over midgets. And Junjou tells you that ‘no means yes.’ Who wins? To-Love-Ru and Kanokon have a fair amount of pandering in having random characters just insert themself into the male lead’s life, although the circumstances in Junjou add up to be pretty silly as well. I’d give Junjou the nod here for having some actual sweet moments, while Kanokon was just silly. To-Love-Ru could go either way.

Round 14: All That Matters is Megane
Kanokon: Show ▼

Junjou Romantica: Show ▼

To-Love-Ru:
MOEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~\(^.^.)/: Kanokon takes this one easy here, with the class rep girl who has a cute look, personality, and a strange resemblance to Kafuka from Zetsubou Sensei. It and Junjou have two megane people, and Junjou’s … uh … main guy’s brother sports a nice look with glasses, but I found the glasses service of Usagi rather strange yet amusing in a fourth-wall sense. It’s not like I haven’t enjoyed the same thing in female characters, though. To-Love-Ru falls painfully short here, although I heard it has a big enough cast to probably have at least one later on.

Overall:
In summary:
In Junjou Romantica, plot happens and buttsex ensues.
In Kanokon, plot happens and sex attempts to ensue.
In To-Love-Ru, plot happens and failed confessions ensue.

I wouldn’t pick any one of them as a long-term show for myself, to be honest. The fanservice level of all of them is enough to scare me off of it, as I tend to prefer emotional pandering over physical pandering at the least. None of them are really horrible as I was hoping one of them would be at the least, but instead they’re more of a “not my thing” deal.

It does worry me that this type of show is wasting space that another, perhaps better show can fill, but it’s all relative. If it pays the bills – and it does – maybe it’ll pay the way to a better, higher budget show in the future.

If I had to pick one – comical judging criteria notwithstanding – it would probably be To-Love-Ru, because as much as shonen romance is repetitive, slow-paced (failed confession after failed confession) and fanservice-filled, it is still sort of sweet and appeals to a more base side of me. Kanokon has potential (well, if I didn’t read ahead on summaries) to have an interesting supernatural side if Chizuru gets her foxy hormones in check, and Junjou is a question mark to me. I don’t think I can fairly evaluate it as BL is not at all my thing (shocking, yes). There were a few sweet moments near the end of the show where the Brother Guy announced his marriage, but other moments, such as where Usagi just randomly takes Main Guy into his house and when Plot Ensues spontaneously, turned me off the show.

An interesting experiment in any case, although next time I’ll stick to honey, mayonnaise, and potato chips.

-CCY

(Well, not as much of a humor slant as I has hoped, but still an entertaining post to write. I’ve got to try more of these categorical comparisons.)